I don't even know how to explain it.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
Thread Topic: I don't even know how to explain it.
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I don't like to vent, and I don't like to be negative. Though sometimes I think we all just need to get things out to feel better. So despite my better judgement, I'll explain the best I can here.
A lot has been on my mind lately. So much deeper and complex then what I let on. To start with, I'm try to manage my future, thinking of school, careers, my dreams, everything. I feel like there's so much I want to do, even just day to day wise, and I've set my pace too high. I'm mentally draining myself out doing this. Part of it is worry, maybe a little fear that things won't go the way I think.
And also several random things. It's been bothering me about the boy who shot himself because of all the cruelty he got for who he was. It saddens me because going as far as suicide is such desperation and misery, too much for a human soul to take. And the fact that he could have had a long and beautiful life ahead of him if it wasn't for disgusting, evil bullies. It makes me angry, sad and personally offended to think of such hateful human beings.
Anyway, I keep turning to my music for help, like I always have done. It does help, but I run my mind raw thinking of the same lyrics over and over again. I'm also a total vegetable when it come to online things anymore. I honestly don't ignore anyone, I promise I don't, and I love rping, but it's one of those times where... you lose interest in what makes you happy? Maybe my depression is coming back. What I hate is how I'm abandoning those I love, you guys my friends, because I don't know how to handle myself sometimes. :\
I get a million ideas, but it's so hard to share them. I'm shy lately and I don't want to start yet another thing just to end up not finishing it. I'm desperate for someone to talk to about all these things besides my parents. They don't understand everything. I get lonely, and scared. I run around in circles mentally for answers. I feel bad for how slow and inefficient I get.
It's just one of those hard moments in life, you know? I don't feel suicidal, and I know things are going to get better, I just don't know where to turn to with all this anymore. -
tori109 NoviceI know exactly how you feel, its really hard. I have so many ideas, but are afraid to share them because so many people judge the idea. Even some of my best friends. I hate it
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Yeah, thanks Tori for reading. :3 Means a lot to me.
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I will be there for you if you need help
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