The Caves of Despair
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 24, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: The Caves of Despair
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Need to talk?
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Not really, thanks for asking though
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I feel horrible still
I was freaking out
I felt like i was about to scream
Everyrhing hurt
I thought she was finally fed up with me
But she wasn't
All i did was ask who was the other reason and sh got all defensive...
And it turned out it was only our best friend which i totally understand because both of them aremy only two reasons why i like school
They make it bearable -
She says i'm a good girlfriend
But in reality i'm a horrible one
I'm a horrible girlfriend
She just doesn't wanna tell me i am -
What if fate won't let us be together...?
What if we're not the 2%...?
What if this is just a small love in a giant world, where nothing will come out of it...?
What if these fights get worse and worse, and finally she gets fed up with me?
What if i lose her? -
Why am i never f---ING ENOUGH???
WHY WAS I PUT IN CHARGE OF A FOUR YEAR OLD WHEN I WAS NINE?
WHY IS IT THAT MY OWN BROTHER HATES ME MORE THSN MY OWN ABUSIVE DAD AND MANIPULATIVE, NARCISSISTIC MOTHER
WHEN I'M THE ONE WHO TOOM CARE OF HIM FO 3 YEARS WHILE THEY GOT THEIR s--- TOGETHER, AND THEY STILL DIDN'T??
WHY DOES MY MOM TELL ME I'M NOT HIS MOTHER BUT I ACT LIKE ONE MORE THAN HER
ALL SHE ACTS LIKE IS AN ABUSIVE b---- EHO DOESN'T CONSIDER OTHERS??
WHY AM I NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY MY FRIENDS??? WHY DOES EVERYONE f---ING LEAVE ME WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE I'M TOO MUCH INSTEAD OF SAYING SO???
WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME WHEN THEY'RE MAD AT ME??
WHY DO I GET f---ING IGNORED WHEN I ASK WHAT'S WRONG
BUT WHEN I DON'T EVERYONE'S VENTING TO ME???
WHY IS IT THAT NOBODY f---ING CARES ABOUT ME ANYMORE
WHY CAN'T MY MOM JUST UNDERSTAND THAT I'M f---ING OVERWHELMED AS HELL -
ALL I EVER FEEL ANYMORE IS ANXIETY
I BARELY FEEL ANYTHING ELSE ANYMORE
WHY CAN'T I BE f---ING NORMAL
WHY IS IT THAT I CAN'T HAVE A NORMAL f---ING FAMILY
WHY CAN'T MY MOM JUST BE NICE FOR ONCE AND UNDERSTANDING
WHY I CAN'T I BE A GOOD f---ING FRIEND
WHY I CAN'T I???
why can't i just be normal... -
I HATE MYSELF
I HATE MY FAMILY SOMETIMES
THE ONLY PEOPLE I DON'T ACTUALLY HATE IS MY SCHOOL FAMILY
AND LORA
AND YET I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE A BAD GIRLFRIEND
I NEVER f---ING STOP BRINGING s--- UP
I NEVER FEEL SURE ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP I'M ALWAYS ASKING HER IF WE'RE OKAY I NEVER THINK BEFORE I SPEAK I GET UPSET ABOUT LITTLE THINGS -
Oh and i don't hate my friends on here either
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Damn i really cracked for a bit there
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At the beggining of the year i'd write on my arm little things that hurt me, and i'd cross them back out when my feelings were really strong.
She made me promise i'd never do it again
I broke my promise... -
So apparently she never made me promise
But still i wrote on my arm
And now i feel bad -
I hate myself so much
I hate how i can't control when i cry
I can't -
Oops posted b4 i was done
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I can't control when i'm upset
I'm sorry, baby.
I'm sorry i made you upset because i started crying
You know i get upset when others shoe aggression
I get scared
You know why i'm like this
Except you don't at the same time
I feel horrible always because i'm always making you upset
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