The Caves of Despair
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 24, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: The Caves of Despair
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I'm scared
My anxiety's been really bad lately
I barely ever have anxiety attacks
But i've had three in 24 hours
Two were caused by unknown sources
One was something that happened with Lora this morning (we're good dw-) -
And i keep forgetting who i am
I keep forgetting what my name is and what i look like
Thing is?
I can remember everyone and everything else
But can't remember myself
Is this stemming from the fact that i put other's need before myself?
Or is it just something wrong with me? -
I don't feel right in my body
I feel like my skin is too tight
My limbs are weird
Everything's weird on my body
Idk what's happening -
Last night makes me feel bettet, for some reason. We talked through a lot of things, and tbh i feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. Thank you for listening, Lora. Ilysm to the ends of this universe, more than anyone here on this earth.
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Someone in my class keeps calling me racist just because i don't like the dude who touched me without my consent a few days ago?
And she's the one who keeps popping into my conversations and won't shut the f--- up
Saying "if you want a good grade you gotta study" like a f---ing sassy b----
And i told her politely to shut up and stay out of my conversations
And then she says i'm racist again for calling her out (she is a person of color, yes.) But that doesn't mean i'm racist. I just want her to shut up and stay out of my conversations -
^
I left the classroom befoe posting this because i was literally about to burst into tears
I had a big cry in the bathroom and went back to see her grinning at me knowing exactly what she did
I am so freaking over this school
The teacher knew the girl was in the wrong and she's gonna report it to admin.
But let's focus on my love life instead
So like
I am a very loving person and i tend to give a lot of love
Lora has never complained about it luckily
Yet i feel kinda unloved a little because i'm very loving and she doesn't show her love much so i finally told her and i think i messed up because we're back at square one. She used to never argue with me with i love you more or you're prettier kind of stuff but i pointed it out and she actualy started doing those things
But now she never does them anymore and it's hurting me idk what to do
I've brought up some kind of relationship problem every single day this week and i feel horrible even though she completely understands and forgives me.
Y'all can someone give me advice i really don't know what to do (yes you can post here this once ) -
We're good now nvm
I csn't stop sending her paragraphs of how much i love her ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ -
Nope i made it worse
And i almost lost her
But i think i fixed it
I really hope so
Me and my impulsive ass
Hml
Goddamnit i hate myself i feel like a s---ty girlfriend -
WAIT WHY DIDN'T IT CENSOR
MODS DON'T BAN ME PLEAZE -
We won’t
-
Oh ok phew
-
Well
I think me and her are good
We worked it out
But things will probably still be strained... -
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Well
Me and my gf haven't argued in a few days
And that's good ig -
Welp
I spoke too soon
I started s--- again as usual
But i guess we worked it out
I guess
Bad newd is i was sick for a few minutes
But that prevents my anxiety from escalating more
And i feel a bit better
Still feel like a s---ty girlfriend
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