Racing Adrenaline
- Locked due to inactivity on Dec 6, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: Racing Adrenaline
-
I’m so exhausted from my mother. I’ve never been religious personally, however my mother is over religious. I respect religious people and I can see their perspective, but she just takes it to far, in my view.
I asked to go trick or treating for the first time in my life with my friends, and she started screaming at me asking me what was wrong with me repeatedly. I got really scared, and she threatened to homeschool me against my will, threatened to take all my friends away, and told me all my friends were bad influences and rambled on about how Halloween was “demonic”. A few days later she deleted my Snapchat (which had a bunch of my snap streaks on it), which cut off contact between me and a hella ton of friends. Now she’s forcing me to watch a bible study for an hour every day, read in my Bible 30 minutes every day alone, and read in my Bible with the family for 20 mins to an hour every day. I feel so trapped. I have no free time. My friends’ advice is terrible (them just telling me to run away and live with them, Ik this is a joke but I’m looking for actual advice).
I also feel like nobody likes me. I’ve come to like myself; I know I’m pretty, cute, decent, I know I’m funny, I know I’m friendly and kind, but it’s hard getting other people to see my quirks, especially when I’m the supposed “quiet kid”. People talk to me, but I always panic and say something stupid or un-funny in the moment.
I’ve taken the steps and courage to talk to people of the same gender, and it’s come a long ways. I get compliments every day, I have a large number of friends, people go to me for help on math or any subject or advice in general, but at lunch and PE, I feel pretty exposed because I only hang out with 3 friends, and I’m always the sixth to last in being chosen in PE. I have scoliosis which disables me from being athletic, but it kind of hurts knowing that people choose other people over me. I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but it’s hard not to be.
I also struggle talking to the opposite gender. It’s easy talking to people of the opposite gender who are “unpopular” because they don’t really judge me. But more “popular” people, I struggle with finding right things to say because I have feelings that they’ll judge me, so I’ll try to shift my personality which makes me seem dry. I’ve tried picturing them as a girl, easy to talk to; but I just totally panic and just stay quiet.
I’m just super exhausted rn, I don’t know what to do. I want to become more social. I want to tell my mother that I’m not religious. But it’s so hard. -
I’m so tired rn. sometimes i wish it would end.
a few of my friends have advised I go to the police station and file a report against my parents for mental abuse.
i want to get rid of them, but at the same time I don’t. i hate them but i love them. my feelings are so complicated.
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
