vent thread
- Locked due to inactivity on Jan 9, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: vent thread
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sometimes i just feel numb all over. cold, my skin feels tight. it's been like that a lot recently. nothing appeals anymore, and i'll briefly try to entertain myself but quickly my interest fades.
it's hard to go to work right now. i want to quit. i don't even have a reason, really, but all i want to do is sleep all day. when im awake i'm acutely aware of the blank space inside my head. it wants to be full so bad.
i'm taking medicine. it isn't working. i've told my doctor it isn't working. all he does is up the dosage. it doesn't help at all. he won't listen and im not brave enough to argue with him. i know i should find a different doctor but that takes a lot of effort. just going to my appointments takes a lot of effort.
i know that sounds particularly pathetic, but it is what it is. i just have no drive, not even to take care of myself. i wish i could figure out something to fix this, but i have no motivation. i really just want to sleep. i know it already said it but at least when im sleeping time moves faster and i don't have to actively exist. -
i meant to put this in the study. would a mod mind moving it there?
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it's sad that my only real reason for not killing myself is my pet. but that's it. i almost don't want to get another one so that i can have the freedom to.
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Nothing feels real anymore
Nothing holds my attention -
All i want to do is sleep and yet I can't fall asleep.. Just floating in this endless nebulous of absolutely nothing.
Howd i get here
Why am i here -
Sometimes i wonder why god hasnt killed me yet
It's a cruel thing to keep me alive
So many good people die each day. so why cant i. -
I cant even find the motivation to get out of bed.
Sometimes i try to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with me and it's all in my head. But I'm still laying here even though I know i have things to do. I'm already f---ing myself over for tomorrow because i just don't care about myself. -
I'm probably going to kill myself soon. Nothing is working and even when I try, nothing changes. So why try at all?
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It may seem like you aren't making a difference in the world, but you'd be surprised at how big a difference you can make. You're worth it and you deserve to live a happy life <3
Don't give up, things will get better. -
idk man i really dont
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