Confession thread
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: Confession thread
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I'm horrified of people. I wake up every morning and cry because I have to go to school and socialize. I love my friends but at the same time I'm scared I'll speak my mind and they'll hate me, so I'm always quiet and just agree with anything.
I get sick when I even think about meeting new people. I literally will throw up and everything will physically hurt.
I don't like change. It scares me more than people. Even simple things like my seating at school can make me so upset and afraid that I burst into tears and freak out.
I think I'm ugly and stupid. I don't do anything right. I have no talents. I'm the scum of them earth and will never amount to s---, just like my father always told me.
My mom is verbally abusive all the time. But I can handle her, so long as I never have to go back to my dad.
She often threatens to kill herself and make me go live with dad. I end up shaking and crying every time she tells me this.
I can't tell my friends at school anything because they never take me seriously. I'm some big joke to them. -
My sister died of heart disease. I'm terrified that I might develop the same thing[it's actually quite likely] and die alone. I want to get tested but my mom won't until my other sister gets tested.
I have reflex so bad I throw up almost everything I eat every day. The doctors won't do anything about it. Most tell me I'm perfectly normal and accuse my of being bulimic.
I was so underweight in elementary I almost died. I was so malnourished they almost hospitalized me. It was all caused by the stress of being in the same house as my father.
The best day of my life was when mom told me to grab some clothes and we left him. -
*reflux
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I'm sometimes afraid to share mind. It's usually because I don't think straight because of my ADHD. And just so you know I always care about you.
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I've always been different. I was bullied all throughout elementary. I never had any self confidence. When I spoke up about the abuse, the teachers blamed me and the students laughed and the abuse got worse.
I gave up one day and then the teachers actually pretended to care. But it was too late. By then I was so empty feeling I didn't care anymore.
For two years in elementary I walked on the playground collecting shards of glass out of the sand. The teachers didn't even notice I went home with boxes full of glass. Neither did my parents. I liked looking at the glass and imaging what it'd be like to make beautiful things that people actually liked. -
I haven't really felt in years. I think everything I feel is fake, but I'm not sure. I pretend to be happy around my friends and therapist, but I don't feel happy. I feel cold.
Every night I lay down and wonder why someone like me even exists. I'm a leech to society, I'll never amount to anything.
I'm convinced I'll never find love. I'll die alone. -
My dad hurt me more than I care to mention. Back in elementary people always were surprised when they found out I had a dead. He never went out in public with me.
I don't know if he loved me or not.
My family, for the most part, doesn't understand me even slightly. They don't even try. But that's okay. I don't want them to understand me. -
*dad not dead
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My life has no meaning. I've done nothing noteworthy my whole life. Even though others disagree, nothing would be lost if I died. I won't ever become anything important.
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I once told some students at school I was going to kill myself behind the tree at recess. No one cares, until recess came along and I sat outside behind the tree with a big shard of glass.
Of course, no one took me seriously. They threatened to call doctors to take me away, but the next day no one even gave a s--- about me. -
No matter how many times people tell me I'm worth something I feel empty and pathetic. Compliments barely phase me anymore.
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I once tried to cut. I managed it for a couple breakdowns, but around the fourth time I freaked out and now even the thought of me hurting myself makes me cry.
I'm too much of a coward for suicide, no matter how many times I consider it. -
I take baths all the time. I love the feeling of going underwater and everything just vanishing. Reality is gone, and all that's left is silence.
I rarely think about reality. I like fiction because real life scares me.
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