this is just me ranting for a very long time so...
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:30pm
Thread Topic: this is just me ranting for a very long time so...
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I'm just going to rant and wallow in some self pity because I'm not sure where else I can do that. And this is sort of morbid and day ruining so that's a warning and I'm sorry about this
First my dog died. And I f---ing knew something was wrong and I still didn't f---ing do anything about it or help her and so she died, right there with me. She was thirteen and I thought she wasn't feeling well a few days before but its not like she hasn't been this way before (sleepy, trouble getting up) and I didn't think it was enough to call the vet but I should've f---ing called anyway because that's what you're supposed to do when your pet needs help. And so I woke up Friday morning to find her breathing faster than normal and I tried to get her up but she just kept looking at me and sitting there and I couldn't f---ing get my head together to notice that she needed some form of immediate help and the next thing I know is I'm holding my dog as she's suffering a heart attack or seizure and there was no one around to help me and you could see she was scared and I was trying to call the vet and trying to do compressions and talking to her and then she died right there and I couldn't help her. And the horrifically laughable part about this is that she's had 2 seizures before when she was a puppy but she's never had them since and she's never been ill and so it all just happened and I haven't even tried talking to the vet. I've just had my family doing it and asking questions and arrangements and whatever and now I'm just totally uninterested in dealing with this because my dog shouldn't have died there and no one is even attempting to understand why I'm uninterested and perhaps oh I don't know depressed about it
And I haven't been able to eat or sleep since she died one) because I keep retching it back up and two) because I either have an upset stomach when I sleep or I just can't sleep and both of those are either because of some sort of anxiety this whole situation has brought on, compounded with all the other little daily stresses and concerns or I have the flu, and seeing as how I'm coughing and sniffling too, I'm guessing the latter coupled with a good dose of the former
Anyway this is a whoppingly long post that I wouldn't even know how to respond to but I just needed to write it and post it somewhere. I just really am totally uninterested in everything now ? not even just bc of my dog but because of what it means to lose her and it just show how everything has been going downhill... and the house is going to be quiet and I don't even know how Parson is going to react now that she's gone. He's going to be lonely and he's old too and aghsjkglsifllllllllllllll I dont even want to think about losing him and I should've prepared myself for this but I f---ing didn't bc I'm clueless and stupid and didn't want to
Sorry for the post. I just... I needed to rant.
Happy 4th gtq birthday to me -
This is really just a stream of run on sentences which don't even begin to explain the full family/life situation or how I'm feeling... -_-
Mehhhh whatever its my rant. -
I'm really sorry man :/
13 years old is pretty darn old for a dog-their years go by sevens I believe. Not to sound insensitive but her time was coming regardless.You did nothing wrong and you couldn't have suspected anything considering she's done this before and has lived through it you say.
Its hard to lose a pet whose been with you for so long and I dread the day anything happens to my own pets.Take care and give attention and love to your other dog assuming you have one.
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