This explains almost everything wrong with me in a nutshell
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:27pm
Thread Topic: This explains almost everything wrong with me in a nutshell
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And I can't talk very well...
A week or two ago, I told my best friends about some weird thing that's been happening to me. I kept getting these weird feelings where I wanted to scream,cry, and laugh at the same time. They told me to tell the school psychologist so, I did. She started talking with me and, even though it got rid of the things I like to call "Insanity Attacks", it made things worse. I get depressed very easily now because my friends neglect me and I always feel so alone. Some of my friends try to be like me because I'm so nice and I hate it. Because of my "Insanity Attacks", I hurt myself if I smile, laugh, scream, or cry. I have bruises all over the right side of my face and rug burns on my wrists (because my skin is wayyyy too delicate for a knife) from myself disagreeing with my emotions. I feel like my Sub Conscious is having a fight with my Conscious and I keep getting these weird feelings. To make matters worse, kids at school are starting to call me "The Next Jeff The Killer" because on Halloween, I accidently made some chemical reaction while eating candy, making the corners of mouth my burn and rip into a small smile. I can't even dress the way I want because my parents don't want me to be like those "creepy emo kids" or "too highly thinking of themselves scene girls" (I don't think like this by the way-I am emo/scene-I'm mixed). Ontop of all this, I also have a balance disorder and my grades are slipping (I'm in all Honors/Advanced classes). Right now, I'm playing with a knife stroking the blade with my fingers. All I really need is to have a way to express myself and be noticed a little more. I don't mind being a tad bit insane (oh, who am I kidding? I got a 92% on my school Mentally Unstable test)-I just can't take being ignored but, I don't like being bothered either. People look at me and think, "Oh she's just quiet/tired-She's fine." They don't even bother to check and see if I'm okay when I show the most obvious body language. It's just all too much to be so alone and having no way to express the way you really want to look. All I ever do is sit down at my computer listening to music and playing with my Internet Friends-Sometimes I think they're better than my real friends... -
I...I'm not sure what to say, but I didn't want to post a blank.
I-Im sorry. *Hugs* I can't imagine what you must be going through. -
*hugs back* Does it really sound that bad? Thanks for reading it by the way-No one ever does...
(Sorry this is late-My internet was spazzing so I couldn't reply) -
;-; It makes my day seeing someone who cares and I instantly expect more people to come and make my day. When that doesn't happen, my entire world goes to s--- again and I get depressed...It's what happens when you've been ignored all your life. Suddenly seeing one person that cares just makes you expect more. When, in reality, there's probably going to be no one else. Thus, making me want to cry my fricking heart out when I'd end up slapping myself for it. I swear-I'm going to stop feeling emotion at one point...
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tldr
Have a hug -
Dude, that honestly sucks. I understand some of those feelings. Try doing something that calms you.
*Huggles because everyone needs a huggle when they're upset* -
No :) I know it will get better.
Just hang in there Find something that makes you happy :) -
Nothing I like to do really helps anymore. It used to-I guess it only made it worse. My family if telling me to get off my computer and do something useful but, being on the computer and talking to my MC friends is the only distraction I have from life. I don't know how to make myself better. Like my Health teachers says, "Some people can bounce back and be resilient, while others are too deflated to even move." I used to be able to bounce back a few weeks ago. I can't anymore...
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Like Unloving, I don't really know what to say except that I'm here for you. *hugs*
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*hugs back* I guess life will give you attention when you need it most. Thanks~
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*hugs*
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^.^ I love hugs~Thank you to all of you so far that have shown that you care about me even though you've never met me in your life. It's the world to me.
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I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel ignored and left out, I constantly live with that and a bunch of other people are like that too so it's nice when we all stick together so we don't feel alone.
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*hugs*
I am not to sure what to say so I will just hug you instead!
*hugs* -
Hugs . Don't know what to say
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