I've always wanted a way out..
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:26pm
Thread Topic: I've always wanted a way out..
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I want to be happy, but I don't know what feelings are just illusions and what is real. I'm not even sure what true 'happiness' even is. But, if happiness is just an illusion, surely anger, sadness, fear, love and all variations are, too? I'm not sure. I don't know what I feel is called. I used to think it was loneliness, but it can't be, for it's only when I'm alone humming to myself am I truly content. I know what my idea of paradise is. I can see it when I close my eyes, me sitting on a bench in the shade, birds singing around me while I read a manga. Maybe I'm humming, also. But what is this? The space next to me is invaded by a girl, who peers over my shoulder at the book. It's only us, and that is true happiness, though it is cut short as reality pulls us back into it's fiery hell. Do I know that girl? I wish I could say no. I wish I could just sit by myself on a bench in the shade with only my thoughts, but she comes in and makes me hum, makes the birds sing. What is this...? Could this be...? Surely it couldn't...love? I dismiss this and curl up in a sheet as I return to my imaginary paradise. One day, I'll find it.
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Another girl? I'm surely it's defiantly not me. Because, around that time, I'm hanging around my old friends and traveling.
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It sure as hell isn't you.
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