Mine thread
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:22pm
Thread Topic: Mine thread
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The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess"
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"
"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't f--- with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking." -
xD Oh, god!
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I love that one, heres another.
A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for
the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the damn tent." -
I heard that one, only it was Sherlock Holmes and Watson. So good! :D
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The comparison of courage:
Army, Air Force, and Marine Generals were standing in front of a rappelling tower with a Navy Admiral. The Air Force General says to the others, "My men are the most courageous of the Armed Forces."
"Ha!" said Army, "My men are the most courageous and I'll prove it."
Army calls a Private over from the tower. He tells the Private, "I want you to jump off that tower - no rope, no parachute."
"Yes, Sir!!!" the Private yells and proceeds to climb the tower. The Private walks to the edge, yells "Hoo-ahh!" and jumps off the tower. He is killed instantly upon impact.
"That's nothing," the Air Force General said, bored. He calls a Senior Airman over. "Son, I want you to jump off that tower - no rope, no parachute and I want you to do it with style."
"Yes, Sir!!!" the Senior Airman yells. He climbs to the top of the tower, walks to the edge and jumps. He executes a swan dive that would make Greg Louganis proud, hits the ground and dies on impact.
"Hmmph," the Marine growled. "Ya'll obviously forgot the Marine Corps were here," he said (yelling "Marine Corps!" as all Marines tend to do.)
He calls a Lance Corporal over. "Marine, I want you to jump off that tower and make the Corps proud!"
The Corporal yells, "Ooh-rah!", by way of response and runs to the tower. He grabs an M-60 and ammunition belt on the way and wraps the belt around himself in the Pancho Villa style. He climbs the tower and walks to the edge. Upon reaching the edge, he throws two grenades into the air, yells "Semper Fi Do or Die!" and jumps off. He starts shooting the M-60 in mid-air, clipping treetops and yelling the entire way down. His impact is obscured by the two exploding grenades. When the smoke clears, only little pieces of the Marine are left.
The others are impressed and nod their heads in admiration. Then the Admiral says, "That's nothing." The others turn to face the Admiral, their faces in disbelief. The Admiral calls a Seaman over who was cleaning latrines. "Son, I want you to jump off that tower- no rope, no parachute."
The Seaman looks the Admiral in the face and says, "Screw you! You kiss my ass first!" and walks off.
The Admiral turns to the others and says, "Now THAT'S courage!" -
*laughs hard* Oh, nice!!! xD
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Almost killed me too.
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That's just great...!! Wow, just wow.
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Im always glad to make someone laugh.
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:)Yeah
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Suprisingly, I havent done any movie quotes yet...
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:O I love quoting movies. Sometimes my sister and I talk in movie quotes.
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I love being able to do that, I do that with one of my teachers, incredibly smart guy, his own quote: "I could be a brain surgeon, but id rather quote movies all day"
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Wow. You have a lot of awesome teachers! Or is it the same guy?
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Different one, my ASL/Gym teacher.
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