XDDDDDDD
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
Thread Topic: XDDDDDDD
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Dear Fellow Pawns;
Since November 1st, 1793 I have lived a lie that I can no longer go on with. I have started each of the last 6725 days by convincing myself that McDonald's would bring back the Double ZestaBurger--if only for a limited time and at only select locations. It was the only way I could get myself out of bed and through the day.
Alas, I can no longer lie to myself about my future. I now accept that it is bleak. I do not control my destiny, nor my happiness. Like all of you, I am just a pawn in McDonald's global marketing plan. The same company that has returned the McRib 667 limited times in the last 18 years has never given my well-being a second thought.
Well, congratulations, you win. McDonald's 1, Napoleon 0. You have killed my will, spirit and soul; now my body will follow.
Luckily, I will be going to a better place. A place where my happiness won't be controlled by a multi-national conglomeration of fry cooks in cheap suits. While my body will be buried in the same ground where Ray Kroc's is surely spinning; my soul will be with his in heaven. Not here in purgatory controlled by the whims of MBA's from Hamburger U.
Together Ray and I will forever feast on that delicious ambrosia, the Double Zesta Burger.
Sincerely,
Napoleon
P.S. Please don't look in the closet. -
Suicide note generator?
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:D
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Yes.
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I need this shirt.
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