Come to the doctor...
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: Come to the doctor...
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Boy: Psh how bad can a period be, so what you got cramps.
Girl: How about you let me stab you in your stomach 100 times, let you bleed there, and make you walk around like everything is perfectly fine.
Boy: o.o -
* 1:00 a.m. * Get up, walk calmly to the bathroom, pee, look in the mirror quickly to make sure there's no masked killer behind you, turn off the lights, run as fast as you can from the bathroom back into your bedroom and jump 2 feet in the air and land on the bed, pull the covers up to your chin and glance around the room to make sure you didn't leave any more killers behind you on your expedition back, relax and nuzzle back into your pillow. * 17 seconds later you hear a noise * jump up quickly and realize its the air conditioning coming on and think " man! those ninja's just wont give up tonight.. "
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A man walks into a bar and stand next to an extremely hot woman. He stands their and continuously looks at his watch.
The hot woman asks: "Is you date late or something?"
The man replies: "No, I'm just amazed by my magic watch.."
"What does you watch do so magical?" Asks the woman.
The man replies: "Well it tells me anything I want to know..."
The woman asks: "Well ask it something, what does it say?"
The man says: "I already asked it a question, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman replies: "Well your watch is wrong, I am wearing panties."
The man replies: "Oh sorry, my watch is one hour fast..." -
I saw all of these on Facebook.
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Girl: I can be naughty
Boy:How naughty??
Girl: Real Naughty
Boy: Show me :)
Girl: **Snaps the boys black ops disk**
Boy:.... -
Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. For Example "John has 30 chocolate bars. If he eats 23, what does he have now?"
Diabetes maybe?! -
''Hey,want some updog?''
Person: ''What is that?''
You: ''What is what?''
Person: ''Updog?''
You: ''What about it?''
Person: ''What is it?''
You: ''What is what?''
Person: ''WHAT IS UPDOG?!''
You: ''Not much'' -
Today I bought a packet of salted nuts. On the pack it said "Warning, may contain nuts." Well I would be pretty disappointed if I opened it up and a sock fell out...
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Hey Phoenix?
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Before sex, you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're f---ed
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I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?.."
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I swear Mario is a hobo. He wakes up everyday in the same clothes, runs around in sewers, and collects coins. To buy what? MUSHROOMS.
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aloha
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The kid next door was running round the garden waving a pretend wand and shouting out spells.
"I bet you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?" I asked him.
"Yeah!" he shouted excitedly.
So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs. -
Sorry to interrupt. But I'm reading the Twilight book right now and I couldn't help to comment.
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