I need some advice. (TW. Abuse, exploitation)
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 26, '22 3:54am
Thread Topic: I need some advice. (TW. Abuse, exploitation)
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I'm looking for some advice I guess?
I "dated" a guy sophomore year and it was a very abusive and traumatic situation. He lead me on and would only let us be official for a few weeks at a time before breaking it back off because he said he liked someone else. I ended up just being in a FWB situation that I didn't really want or understand because I thought it would lead to something deeper. Spoiler alert: it did not. It ended with police involvement because he sold photos of me as a sophomore online. Since there was no "proof" nothing happened to him.
Anyways I did not interact with him for five years but out of the blue he followed me on all my social media and keeps replying to my stories trying to start a conversation..I don't think he knows I'm taken since my fiance and I don't post on social media a lot.
I don't feel right just outright blocking him because he hasn't done anything malicious yet and again, there was never any proof that he was the one selling the photos. Im just very uncomfortable with him texting me and don't really know how to reply? I feel so rude ignoring him but I really don't want to talk to him either. -
I get that harassment is a strong word. He just came on very strongly. He followed me and immediately liked all my posts and replied to all my stories. He keeps trying to send me photos of his car and random s--- and I'm just super put off by it all.
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tbh idk how to respond because I'm kinda in the same situation.
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I'm sorry to hear that. It's not a fun situation at all. :(
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yeaaaa
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Again, TW: we were young so I don't know if he even realized it but i just remember he took my first kiss without my consent forcefully after I made it clear I didn't want to and since we were at school I got mocked by everyone around us and called derogatory things against women. I went home crying. I really just have such bad emotions attached to him. A kiss is not the worst form of sexual harassment at least but I grew up in a religious house where physical affection and shame were closely linked together so I genuinely thought God was ashamed with me for it and it really negatively affected my self esteem.
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I'm just venting at this point. If anyone has any advice feel free to share. I realize that a lot of this is sensitive so I'll try to avoid any more details about it all. Hopefully I didn't share too much already.
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Oh jeez. I'm not religious so I've never had that problem, but I have my personal space issues.
Yeah the worst thing this man threatened was to break into my house and uh... "do stuff" w me. -
Jeez. That's not okay at all. It's crazy too that the police won't get involved unless things have already happened. Situations like that can be super scary. It makes me so mad how hard it is to gain support too when dealing with predatory or abusive people.
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Yeah. I got pepper spray and soon I'm getting a knife. I've always been so paranoid that something like that might happen again.
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You can block people simply for the sake of feeling uncomfortable by them following you or simply because you had a bad past with them. There's no rules to when you can and can't block them. Your social media should feel safe and personal to you, and your creepy abusive ex stalking them is more than enough reason to block them- especially if they're making it a negative experience and you have negative feelings attached to them. I've blocked people i just simply don't like because seeing them on my social media made me uncomfortable and it was such a wave of relief having to not deal w them again
If you don't fancy blocking out of the blue.. you can tell him directly that you're uncomfortable with him contacting you or following you and you'd like him to stop. And if he doesn't stop? Just block him
And if you can't bring yourself to actually press the block on him- ask your fiance to do it for you! It may relieve that stress and tension of having to make the move to block somebody yourself -
^^^
I've been in your situation before, and I understand that feeling of " well, they aren't hurting me this time" what's important is that they have hurt you. And that's more than enough justification to protect yourself/gen
Please block him, and maybe tell your fiancee what's going on, in case your ex tries to contact him and lie about an affair/srs
That's something that's common among malicious exes -
While I haven’t been in that situation, I think blocking him is the best option. Or maybe just sending him a goodbye message or something. He sounds like he was a really s---ty person.
I wouldn’t go easy on him -
Definitely block him.
And remember you don't have to explain yourself to that horrid guy. It's not as if he can ask you why you blocked him, anyway. And if blocking him makes him think you're a mean person, oh well. You don't have to deal with him in your life anymore. And it would give him incentive to leave you alone. -
While I know a goodbye message or a "this is why you're blocked" may feel staisifying, or a good way to give him closure
Please do not!
He sexually harassed and abused you /srs.
Don't give him any window, don't give him the satisfaction
Just block him, and simply, don't engage.
That's the best way to deal with creeps like this, other than calling the cops (( useless most of the time )) but since this time he isn't commiting a crime , it doesn't seem that'd an option
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