Were gonna have a good day
Thread Topic: Were gonna have a good day
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not in an emo way but i think im pretending to be a happy person, because i feel happy sometimes, but i just dont think that i have the mentality that i want just yet
like i dont feel genuinely happy even though i am trying -
i dont wanna force myself into feeling any type of way
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i think i realized what my issue is and why i feel guilty with guys
even though i say i have high standards, i dont genuinely regard myself highly and i have the mindset of like "beggars cant be choosers"/"take what you're given."
because i dont think i realize that i dont have to like a guy back. i dont have to entertain him, respond to him, or even act friendly. like its my choice, and just bc a guy wants me, doesnt mean i have to want him back
and i think just from feeling really ugly when i was younger and always hoping that id find someone that id really love, despite never thinking of myself as the kind of person that a guy would want, ive created a mindset where i believe that its so rare for any boy to want me, that i should settle -
And honestly, if it doesn't feel right, then I don't need to try and tell myself that it is right. Things will fall into place, and I'm not gonna settle or convince myself that I'm comfortable.
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im not emotionally available
good to establish that in hopes of working on myself -
this was a nice grounding sesh!
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later i wanna make a list of random things guys do that are rlly fine
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i want therapy bruh
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there is like something chronically wrong with me so its so difficult to even ask to get help, not because im scared, but because my reasons seem so invalid but ive like really struggled on a daily basis with my mental health
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what do u do when u rlly hate urself
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not hate just dislike tbh
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nothing makes me more annoyed than when i prioritize not being late and being on time and sticking to plans and other people dont
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um so unadding me was weird!
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"i'm mature for my age so"
honey -
personally i think that maturity comes from experience. like i think a lot of people think that theyre mature just because they're different than people their age. for example, if theyre already dating earlier than most people do, theyll think that theyre mature.
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