Little by Little
Thread Topic: Little by Little
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I dunno what I want to munch on since dinner is in quite a while
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Ezzie really wants to eat my hair tho
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Trying to get over this social anxiety stuff but its to a point where I can't even adjust the way I'm sitting because I'm scared someone will judge me so maybe I should work on something worth my time
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I literally resent my brother's friends, they're all little s---s that come over only for his video games, eat all our food, and refuse to leave. Plus, they constantly pull 'pranks' on me, which includes, but is not limited to, pouring water on my bed, desk, and chair, scribbling in my sketchbook, and bursting into my room and shooting me with nerf guns. I know that they're only 4th grade kids, but I know for an absolute fact that I had 3x times the self control, respect, and tact that all of them have combined. Plus, one of them is literally dependent on my brother to a point where she cannot be apart from him without facetiming, texting, calling, playing online games together, etc. I do not get a moments peace, because the moment the sun rises, they come over to my house, and only leave when all the food is gone or the sun sets. And the worst part? They live next door, and the oldest, a girl my age, only uses me for relationship advice and travel. Her mom trusts me more than her (for which reason I have no clue, as I'm not super great myself), so the girl is only allowed to be there if I am too, which means that she's constantly hounding me to drive her places just so she can f--- her ugly stupid boyfriend with me as a cover and I am so tired of that family I wanna move even though I love this house so much. I've said almost all the same things to my dad but its just, "Oh, Ellie, they're just kids. Let them have fun and be kids," and its like...when was I ever able to be a kid? Why do y'all think I have more knowledge and intellect and responsibility? Its because I had no childhood, and it's not fair to me that I have to put up with someone else's so-called 'childhood', when all my brother's friends are doing is damaging his social skills. Before, he was a good kid, very intelligent, and now he cries if you suggest that maybe he takes a break from his friends for an hour.
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Like, this is not childhood. This is dependence on a single person who is damaging to everyone around them
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f---ing shoot me
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And thats not even something I stress about much at all compared to everything else.
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I can't even handle being in public with my dad and brother anymore because as nice as they are, neither of them have an ounce of common sense and I have to parent both of them
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And thats the better house to be at :/
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It sounds to me like you need an escape love
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And no one here at least is going to resent or judge you
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I have nowhere to go, this house honestly is my escape from my other house
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Thats true I suppose
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Well, maybe you need a different kind of escape. Try fading into your own world through music or a book or another type of activity. A mental escape, not a physical one
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