Ripper's Edge
Thread Topic: Ripper's Edge
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Alright. Well, I left a message talking my head off. Italktoomuch but hopefully he gets it. It gave me some relief to send this. I think it was highly necessary to say.
I do talk too much. I say things in so many words when there was an easier way to say it. It's just that I don't know how to say it, so I take the roundabout way of saying things because it's the only way I have to express my thought. But even then, I still don't feel like I've said enough because there are always so many more thoughts just buzzing around in my restless mind, and I want to get them out but the more I try to explain how I feel, the stupider I look and sound trying to say it.
Nobody really understands well enough what I mean. I think they really just listen or reply to be nice about it. And I don't blame them because I don't really know what I'm saying myself, sometimes, even if I have a really good idea what I'm trying to say at the moment. I often lose what I initially wanted to say, though, as I'm speaking and I feel like I have something else I really wanted to say, but I can't remember, so I just ignore the fact and let it be. But then, hours later, I feel so stupid because I remember what I wanted to say, but I totally blew my chance to say it. So then, I just feel like a total dork, and I wanna drop off from existence, especially when the part I forgot to say was seriously crucial, and without it nobody can tell what the heck I meant. So then, it's taken the wrong way and I make myself look bad and I have no way of fixing it and I go off on a tangent of endless rambling/scolding because I hate the way I messed it up and did the exact thing I was trying to avoid. But...
I'm not the best with words, so hopefully the words came well enough this time. -
What did I just do?
I said all of that?
Point made: I ramble. -
I wish I had even just ten minutes to talk to him, though. I'd want to say this directly to him. (As direct as it could get.)
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I just don't know what to do about anything. Yet I'm always trying, anyway. How can I try and I have no idea what I'm doing?
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I mean, I know what to do, but then I get pressured into the mindset that I don't, and then I feel that I really don't.
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All I wanted was to do what normal kids do, but that time is up. I never got to do anything of the sort, and now I'm awkwardly doing this. I don't even know what to call it because I'm not treated as if I'm an independent being.
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What more can I do to make them let me go?
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Why does everybody keep shipping me with Quizmaster???
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Would you rather have me, milady?
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Ugh. Cat, no. We've been over this.
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Should I push to 100, or should I let Raiden push to 100 because it's Raiden's thread?
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I'll probably take it to 100.
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...If I alternate, we'll see who gets it.
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Looks like the Lady wins.
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So, page 100...kept you waiting, huh?
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