By land, by sea, by dirigible
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 2, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: By land, by sea, by dirigible
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Sorry i never talk to anyone on here i usually vent and dip without reading anything
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I am a mess honestly
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So out of f---ing touch lmaooooo and i dont even understand how to rein it in at this point
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I actually hate myself so much haha
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Oof i really
Feel
Sick -
Ouchie
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I'm just confused about the way things ended so suddenly still
Confused about how he said he loved me more than a friend, like he loved me as a person and then literally a week later something changed
Shifted
I still blame myself but looking back I don't know what I did different other than the one time i told him i loved him. But that was bc I was freaking out and he reallly helped stop a major episode and i was kinda. Emotionally in shock
I just wanna cry because I really did think he got me more than anybody. And I felt way more at ease with him than I ever have. I felt understood and for me that's sooo rare
And I just know. He's out there. Not thinking about me. Not missing me. I don't want to tell myself I'll never see him again but I
I might not. -
I'm soooo dramatic
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God i actually HATE myself why can't i give things up easier
Anywaaaaays -
I wish i were better about actively correcting my self loathing thoughts but i truly believe i will never be able to not hate myself lmao
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Today has been mostly good
Got more hours set up tomorrow
Found a bunch of shirts i thought i had lost
Got a car!!!!!!
Spent time with friends -
I hope this coronavirus thing blows over bc i might not be able to hang with the girls if we get quarantined :(
Also so my grandpa doesnt die
So far we're fine tho
I'm super tired but i worked a long shift today so thats to be expected -
I like my car more than i thought i did
It's quirky tho, its from 2009 so it's kinda ~special~ like any used car, the driver door handle sticks when you open it, there's a cd stuck in the radio that makes a weird rattling noise, we'll have to take the radio apart to get it out
I wonder what cd it is lol
Annnnd there's some weird oil smell when i drive, that i want to get looked at asap. I'll schedule an appointment for that as soon as I have the money, I'll car tomorrow and ask how much it costs just to have your car looked at
Actually I should ask my dad bc he probably could get one of them to look at it as a favor lol -
Yooooo this is the first time ive voluntarily been been up before noon
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I
Don't usually miss you at all,
But today I do a little. Maybe I'm just nostalgic
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