By land, by sea, by dirigible
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 2, '20 3:54am
Thread Topic: By land, by sea, by dirigible
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I'm also scared of becomming dependant on him
I have got to make some new friends -
But would it really be such a bad thing, to need someone who actually wants me?
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Actually cares about me and treats me like I'm worth caring about
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I want to be loved so why do I keep asking myself how long it'll last
How long it will be until he leaves
I hope it's a very, very long time. -
other notes
I haven't got out of bed at all today which is incredibly pathetic
I keep crying
Life is so bland -
I feel like a f---ing corpse
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i wonder if p would like to hang out
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dont make promises you cant keep
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It's a good think my brother sent a text reminding me to pick him up.. I totaaaally forgot about that
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I'm gonna drive off a bridge byeee
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I started bawling the moment i got into the bedroom
This week is about to be absolute s--- -
Okay, you know what?
I give up. -
He is really something special, by the way.
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Wasnt gonna post but iiiii
I just can't believe im doing THIS well
Its so weird. I thought my life would fall apart but it finally feels like things are coming together!
Getting a car
My muse is back
My mental heath is improving
I'm slowly becoming more and more optimistic about the future!! I just. Am happy and it's. Weird and nice and.
I'm just thankful for Jacob. Idk what it is. But I'm happier even when he's not around. I feel like I finally, finally, finally have someone in my life who won't leave. I had an episode the other day and it was really bad and honestly idk what he does or if he even knows he's doing it but when i talk to him it's like.. it's like he sees what I mean even when I dont. He always says something that makes so much sense and balances me out. I don't know HOW. I am beginning to think he may be an actual angel
Tonight I'm bringing my planning notebooks to his house and we're going to work on my story
Like!!!!!! WHAT!! ive never had anybody take such genuine interest in my work. Like volunteer to help me. He's too good.
Annnnnd I'm getting a car!! Which means FREEDOM AT LASSST.
And i think I'm starting to make friends! Now that i feel good enough to invest myself in other friendships. Laura, Emery, Lizzy, god, things are just really falling into place.
I can't wait until I dont feel the need to put my thoughts here. But I've been hardcore resisting the urge these past 9 days but tbh this morning i needed to give in -
I feel so blessed
Still struggling but im actually fighting now!! I mean i already was but now
Now I want to
It has nothing to do with anything else. I'm happy because I'm fighting to make my life better
And It's sooo new. Ive never felt this hopeful before.
It's not all Jacob but just.. Idk. Idk. I just really think he's great. He listens and understands, like actually really understands and I feel like he wants to help me grow and be with me for a long time and
Ive felt so. Lonely. For so long. Forever, I think. There's always been this longing in me.
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