Running Around at the Speed of Sound
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 8, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: Running Around at the Speed of Sound
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I shouldn't. I know it's none of my business, but I don't like seeing anyone do that to themselves. If you were a random newb, I probably would have reacted similarly. I have this weird need to help people when it comes to certain things. That's all. Sorry. Sorry.
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Also, your mental state concerns me sometimes.
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Haha, don't worry Kala. I've always been against cutting. It'd be pretty hypocritical of me to start doing it, huh?
Aight'. -
Why's that?
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Hm, okay.
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Idk. I loved you for over a year. I can't just stop caring. Sorry.
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That genuinely warms my heart, Seth. Thank you.
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I love how you still apologize to me a lot
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Mom got super upset over nothing and now we can't watch tv when we get home, which was literally the only form of entertainment that I had left.
What the hell.
What am I supposed to do now? -
She can be so... Annoying, sometimes. Just shut up and let me enjoy my f---ing life. You say that i'm only doing better now because of my lack of video games, but I have been doing literally NOTHING different. It's all in your head.
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It was a nice bright sunny day and I just got my weekly allowance and I really wanted to buy a game. My father f---ed me in the ass, but it was a bright sunny day so I didn't care that much. I was at a garage sale with my mom, and I bought a copy of Donkey Kong 64. "Wow!" I said, "I can not wait to play this one!"
My mom handed me the cartridge. I noticed it was missing something. It no longer had a label, but it did have something written on it: "Donkey Kong 64: The Unsold Copy" I turned the cartridge over, and to my surprise, the real Shigeru Miyamoto had signed it. I was so excited to have that signature, I got on my two-wheeler and rode really fast back home. I didn't even bother to drive it into the garage, I just jumped off my bike and threw my bike into the lawn like they do in those shows. I ran into the house, and I popped that sucker into that Nintendo 64, put on that play button, and got ready for a special treat.
This was when I first noticed something was wrong. When I put in the cartridge, I felt it lock in. I had never noticed other games do that before. I tried taking it out, but it wouldn't come out at first. So I just figured maybe there was a little piece of plastic sticking out. I just let it slide. I turned on the game, and there it is! The old logo I used to remember, a year ago when I was one!
The DK Rap started playing, but something was off about it. The lyrics were all jumbled, and their eyes were glitching up. But I just shrugged it off and pressed start, ready to relive some of my childhood memories. I looked past the DK Rap. I said "time to play my favorite game!" I started a new file up, and usually when Donkey Kong sees a banana he says "OH. BA-NA-NA." but he did not this time. He said, "EUGCHHHH! BANANA!" It sounded like a little boy screaming, I couldn't quite make it out. That's when I turned around and saw my mom in red face paint.
Knocking my mother off (she was being a goof as usual), I started it up. It was just like I remember it, the pan-in with the bird and everything, you guys know the rest. Cranky Kong told me I had to go get the three barrels so I could learn the basics: climbing, breaking barrels, and jumping. But something strange happened. After Cranky told me my mission, the barrels were nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find the barrels. Confused, I entered the Banana Horde, hoping to find something to do.
After entering the Banana Horde, I noticed the screen was a lot darker than usual. I tried to adjust the tv brightness but for some reason, it stayed as dark as it was. Then I got the idea that I would get on Skype and contact my friends and ask them if they knew anything about this banana sound Donkey Kong made, as well as the glitch eyes and jumbled lyrics of the rap, my mom in red face behind me, and the missing barrels that Cranky spoke of. As I stood there on Skype, after pressing enter, I waited. Ten seconds later, I saw that my friend was beginning to type as the three little dots began to bounce. But then they stopped. Whatever he was going to write, he never sent me. So I went back to the game but now I realize something was very wrong. The screen had gotten darker, even more so than before. This is when things really started to shake me up. I looked in the corner of the screen and I noticed something was happening so I made Donkey Kong walk over there.
To my utter and complete shock, a 3D model of King K. Rool started rising out of the terrain, but he had no textures. He was purple. He faced my character and had no animations, he was T-Posing. He slowly moved towards Donkey Kong and I made Donkey Kong run the other direction as fast as I could. I watched in terror as my favorite monkey hero got torn to shreds, screaming in agony. I couldn't help but cry a little as I saw Donkey Kong's ribcage burst open by King K. Rool's claws. When I saw it, I screamed. I turned the game off. I started back. I reset the game and tried to pull the game out, but I couldn't. I decided to give it another go.
All that appeared on the screen was a photorealistic dead monkey, with flies buzzing around it and a tie poorly photoshopped on his body. It looked like someone had really killed a monkey and put a tie on it. I didn't know what to do. I grasped at my heart. It started to beat faster and faster. Suddenly the picture zoomed out, and I was greeted to the Nintendo opening from the GameCube game "Luigi's Mansion", you know the one. The zoom-out suddenly showed that the Banana Horde was not as I remembered it. The bananas were rotten, dripping with ooze of some kind. And the face? Well, that was actually a face that was stabbed by a stake with all the other Kong heads on it. You know, Stinky Kong, Candy Kong, Lanky... Lanky was crucified like Jesus. Crispy Kong, Cookie Kong... they were all dead, ripped apart. And the purple King K. Rool, hording over his horde of bananas, made a loud static noise.
This was when my Skype finally messaged me back. I ran over to my computer and there was my friend being held by the hair by King K. Rool himself. Only my friend didn't have his usual body beneath his head, he was decapitated! And the picture was followed by text that said "this is real." THIS IS REAL.
Finally, my tv flickered. Text appeared.
"This is only a demo, but thank you for playing my game. Please buy it when it come out.
-Shigeru Miyamoto" -
My Spellcaster Deck is worth 68$.
Damn. -
Damn that's a lot, I mean.
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800
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seriously tho
68$
I could buy a whole booster box with that
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