I need some advice on coming out to my parents.
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 9, '16 3:54am
Thread Topic: I need some advice on coming out to my parents.
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If you aren't away I am a transgender. I was born a girl.
When I was a kid I never really saw the difference between genders at all, It was in primary three when the teacher explained to me why we were different ( I can't remember how she did this) that I really had an idea. However a year later I no longer felt how I was told a girl should feel. I refused to get changed with the girls for P.E and ended up getting changed in the girls toilets, twice I snuck into the boys toilets but after almost getting caught I stuck to the girls toilet.
It wasn't until sometime last year that I decided to actually do something about my feelings, so I experimented on how it made me feel by coming out here. I finally felt happy.
My mum found out about my feelings by reading an email where I discussed with my friend. She talked to me about it while driving me somewhere, she made it clear that it would upset my parents hut she didn't actually say this, she also said that it would upset her to know I was so unhappy being a girl I wanted to be a boy.
So I lied telling her it was just a phase.
My gran was diagnosed with cancer on the day I was going to tell them so I didn't say anything and used the excuse that I would come out when she was better but I feel that I need to do this now.
It's making me unhappy . I hate lying to them and I hate pretending to be someone I'm not.
So please just any advice I can get on coming out to them, would be appreciated. -
If you aren't aware*
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just tell them the way you feel. there your parents im sure they wont care what gender you want to be. they want you to be happy and if you being a boy will make you happy then so be it.
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Should I write it out ona letter and leave it on their bed? I'll Probaly be sleeping by the time they read it but I need to make sure my brotehr isn't in their room.
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i would talk to them in person and tell your brother its a private conversation and that he needs to leave you alone
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Unless they're religious you should be fine.
Didn't read the whole thing -
I would be completely honest with them and try to talk to them face to face, but if you find it easier to write a letter and put it somewhere, that is also a good idea. Also, like Paige said, as long as they aren't religious, you should be fine.
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Sorry, I grew up differently.
Well, I'll try again.
The only reason they're upset it seems is because you're not happy. If you explain that you will be happy, then they'll learn to appreciate it -
I am going to give them the letter then go upstairs. I don't think I can handle talking to them face-to-face.
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My mums outside in her car right now so I gave the letter to my dad. Don't know if he's reading it.
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Be prepared to speak with them once they read your letter. You might have to fully explain your feelings- why you feel that you were born in the wrong body, why your feelings aren't something you felt on a whim, why you chose to come out, ect. Even though the community is starting to become more accepting, family members will still be shocked unless it is obvious their child is a part of the community. (example: from a young age, a boy loved female things and hung around a lot of girls and was shy around own gender.. I know it's stereotypical of me, but just an example where it's obvious) You'll have to understand their views on it as well. They raised you believing you were their daughter. They don't know that you're their son, and it will be hard for them to understand at first.
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I know Dark. I didn't want to be selfish but I just couldn't continue lying to them. I'm fully prepared for them to be angry or blame themselves but I'm not going to get angry I'm going to remain calm.
If there are any good websites that anyone knows about accepting or well dealing with a transgender child could someone please link them for me? -
My mum is reading it. I can hear them
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No I don't think she is.
Should I go downstairs? -
Yeah
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