Raven's OFFICAL Thread Of Life
Thread Topic: Raven's OFFICAL Thread Of Life
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Just kill me now, I am sick of this. I hate crying, I hate complaining, makes me sound weak and need help.
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I understand how you feel. I do. Has he made any appearance since then?
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Yeah, sometime this month he has. Wait, it was seven months. I have stopped cutting in October after I promised my mom and dad.
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s--- and I missed it? I could've tried to talk him into talking staying.
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Well, he did post in this thread, I forgot wich page.....I am just going to try not to think of it. I am going moisten to Music, and hopefully distract myself and dry out my tears.
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Nope, I can't. My tears had dried, and I stopped shaking, but I can't stop to think about all of my time with him,from the time we met to the last second I heard from him.....he hates me now, I just freaking know it. :/
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In your deepest pain, in your darkest light, YOU ARE LOVELY.
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Why? Just. Why does it have to be this way?
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Brb. I am going to turn off the lights, get out of these skinny jeans, put on some shorts, take Goff my socks, then lay under the covers hoping to fall asleep with my phone. Also,I got to tell Dad to turn down his Music some.
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Hey. Sorry, I fell asleep. Today was just terrible.
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What the hell happened?
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So this morning I woke up thinking about every moment with Jayson, remembering why I broke up with him. As soon as the school bus came to my house the memories and pain hit me like a truck. I sat next to my friend, a tear slipped out, I quickly wiped it away...she didn't seem to notice. She was all up in her phone, as soon as her other friend came on the bus she showed me away. My best friend sat next to me and noticed that I wasn't hyper as usual, she asked repeatedly,"What is wrong?" I said,"Allergies. I am just tired." She said,"Okay. You better be hyper by the end of the day." I nodded my head. Soon we reached the school, as usual I skipped breakfast and went straight to the bleachers and sat down. Soon her and my other real friend came in. My other freind said,"Awe you look sad! Do you want to wear my dead pool hat?" I said,"No, thanks." Soon they sat two bleachers down from me. The other friend said,"Raven VampTisha! If there is something wrong you better tell me." I sighed and scooted down to them, finally I confessed while crying,"Look, you know about the guy that committed scuicide? Yeah, he is alive. I thought he was dead for eight months, it is almost a year now and my heart is still broken. I broke up with him because I thought I was the reason why he cried, why had cut, and why he attempted suicide. Soon, he got mad and called me a bleep.....now I even more broken because now he pretty much hates me and now I am even more broken." The other friend gasped. Soon I said,"I still love him." I tried drying my tears, but they kept falling. Soon the bell rung for first hour, wich is band. I held back tears playing my flute. My band director kind of noticed I was sad, or somebody else noticed and reported it to her, or something. I don't know why. But anyways, after I put my instrument up She stopped me as I was walking to my chair. She said,"You okay?" I nodded my head, to afraid to speak. She said,"You sure? I don't want to figure out you aren't later today." I said,"I am fine." I faked a smile. I thanked she noticed because she soon said,"Is the thing that is bothering you from school or home?" I said,"I am fine, thank you." She said,"Okay then.", then walked away. Throughout the day the memories haunted me over, and over again, I held back tears all day During school.
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Brb.
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Back. My battery threatened to die on me.
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Today just hurts like a bullet I swear. I am almost fourteen. I am broken over someone I have never met....does that make me crazy? o.o
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