Blow a kiss, Fire a gun
- Locked due to inactivity on Jun 25, '18 3:54am
Thread Topic: Blow a kiss, Fire a gun
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Have fun today, Samanthi
most of class is going to be you doing hw problems~ -
I forgot what story I was trying to name, but I have another one in mind anyways.
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I just found a s--- ton of colors for art things
sweet -
It was refreshing to see him again. And I think he was happy to see me for a moment. He said something good may happen but won't tell me what.
"I plead the fifth"
jerk, you know something that has to do with me, don't you? -
I've got broken wings
I keep trying, keep trying
No, I won't give up
Oh, I'm flying, oh, I'm flying -
Once again, invalidated.
"You're too young to have anxiety"
"That's something you develop over years"
f--- you.
I spent the entirety of my childhood listening to you scream at my mother and being bullied at school. Ever heard of social anxiety? Of course you haven't. You're too busy looking up stupid s--- on the internet while I'm learning about disorders in a psychology book. Even before that, I know what I feel. A twisting stomach and a constantly tightening throat is anxiety. -
I know what anxiety feels like. I know what I'm feeling. It's not severe to the point where I'll have an attack, but I've been pretty f---ing close. But I guess no one's allowed to have problems when they're young compared to you. You never gave a flying f--- about what went on when I was a kid, nor do you bother to give a f--- about what I'm doing now. Next time you try talking to me, don't. Just f---ing don't. You don't care about my feelings, why the f--- should I care about yours? Because we're related? f--- that.
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I wish I could stop feeling. Not like anyone cares for them anyway...
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(I don't know what you are going through at all, but I hope you never give up. I also hope that everything clears up for you soon. )
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I..thank you for that. The past few days have just been rough, and someone who's supposed to "love me unconditionally" seems to keep proving time and time again that he doesn't. He doesn't care about my happiness or how I feel, never has. It shouldn't hurt at this point, but it does.
I guess I just want to throw everything out there, then walk away before he can say a word. But I have nowhere to go.. -
If I hadn't been born a woman, I'd get a place with David or B. They're the only financially stable friends I can think of. Ideally, I'd move out with Kaitlyn, but she doesn't have a job yet.
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It's normal to feel attachments to people who have done things in the past for you. It could be little things that made you glad for the time being. Even if they show that they don't seem to feel the same anymore, it's natural to still feel for them. It's a constant attachment because in a way they have changed you. However, the only way to deal with that feeling is so accept the constant changes. That person doesn't deserve you if they will only keep hurting you. A person who loves you should count your happiness at the same level as theirs. So I think you shouldn't blame yourself for how things are. At least you know that you are not being treated as you should. You can't just run away from the problem. If you want to really fix it, you will have to confront it and if they don't understand you will have to make the decision to either move on or stay in the same place. I feel as if once you know that you can do it on your own, things will get better for you. At least little by little. Know that it's normal to feel hurt, however use that hurt to make a decision that will help you.
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Said person happens to be related by blood, so it's kind of hard to just leave them behind. Said person happens to be a parent that invalidates every feeling I've ever had. If I'm happy, I'm not good enough because of the things that make me happy. When I'm angry, I'm told to shut up and that I have no reason to be upset about anything. When I'm sad, I'm questioned on whether or not I need a therapist or I'm told to basically suck it up. Financially, I can't do anything, no matter how badly I want to. I love my family, but living with some of them is more stress than they're worth. Sometimes I just wish it were me and my mom. She's the only one that even tries to understand me.
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Oh, I thought it was something different. When it comes to family a lot of the time it's like that. I can say for sure that I understand that aspect of people in families not understanding or appreciated one another. I also feel as if the generation difference is also what causes the separation and misunderstandings. I go through very similar troubles, although yours seem worse. For now, all you can do is focus on yourself and better yourself as a person. You can't let the words of others bring you down.
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*appreciating
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