Batman's Cave
Thread Topic: Batman's Cave
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Uh, Bat, can I email you?
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I really don't think it'll make a difference to me. But okay.
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The words will.
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I don't know Alex.
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Is there something wrong with me? Am I so unwanted to others that they rather hang themselves then speak to me? It's happened before. I've watched Death swoop in and takes people's life on multiple occasions. No. Not just one. Many times. First time, I was four.
My mom decided it was alright to smoke crack when she has cancer. Her boyfriend of the hour came home. He was furious at my mother for some reason. I heard screaming and shouting. I hid in my room, not daring to look out. But I couldn't avoid it.
He started hitting my mom. This is the usual events of my day. But this one day the hitting was harder and more fury was added to the punches. He would usually use his fits, but at times put his cigarettes out on me and my sister for fun. My sister tried to interfere, but was thrown in the Christmas tree. My brother just walked into the house, higher than the kite. Not aware of the situation in front of him.
I tried to get my brother's attention. I screamed, and cried. But I, was useless. I seen this happen multiple times, but little did my mom's boyfriend know she was pregnant. Yes, with a little boy, I remember being so happy, I was going to have a little brother I was going to protect from this bad man. I screamed loud enough for my mom's pursuer to stop and look at me. I still remember his words: What the f--- are you doing? You should be in bed. Or do you want me to punish you some more? He started unbuckling his belt, and I screamed again.
I screamed for my brother, and for my mom. My sister was knocked out, bleeding from the ornaments. After the scarring happened, he went to my mother again. He pounded his fists into her gut. Blow after blow. No one could do anything. I was terrified he would do it again. My mom pushed him into the table, and he yelled. I remember the next part like it just happened. It felt like time stopped, he raised his foot and kicked her in the stomach. Blood gushed out, I realized then, my brother, sweet, sweet Joey, is dead. -
That sucks. I don't even have anything other to say. That it's just messed up and needs to be erased from your life.
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I've been trying. Everyone thinks it's just people, but it's not. It's memories like these that torment me to the lines of insanity. Memories like these that I have my walls. Memories like these that causes me to enjoy the beauty of blood and pain. I guess the word I'm looking for is, f---ed up.
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I am so sorry... I should've known that something was seriously wrong... But of course I had to be the little innocent s--- that I am and think that things were getting better for you...I'm always wrong, so why do I try to intoxicate myself into thinking that I'm not...?
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I see. But you know, life sucks, it never gives us what we want and can do whatever it pleases. You can't let life rule you though, fight back or you will fall.
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Alex, it's not your fault. All I want it to stop. I've tried therapists, all it does it make me think that it's my fault. I didn't do anything in that situation. I didn't try to stop it, yes I would rather take on that bad man then have he hurt my mom. I have burns, and everlasting scars because of him. Some you can see, and some not.
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I fight it daily, Savannah. Do you know how much fight I had to put into opening myself up again?Telling Tyler these things? To trust? To break down my wall, and still have enough fight to not fall completely?
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All of this is pure s---, Bat. I can't imagine going through that...
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I guess I'm worse than you thought? I'm an enigma. So more unsolvable stories and riddles. So many unanswered questions right?
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I'm sorry that I'm not any help...I shouldn't even be trying I'm so bad at it... I'm sorry I exist to make it harder for you.. *sits in corner and hides face*
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ALEX! *walks over to you and sit down* *pulls your hands from your face* You're helping. You know that. You are. You existing is making it easier. It's not because of you they did those things. It's not your fault. You didn't cause any of this. You're just a good enough friend to stick around.
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