Batman's Cave
Thread Topic: Batman's Cave
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*stretches* Going on day three without sleep.
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I understand and relate to all of these things Jozy, but I am now remembering that we are not alone, and than we are not worthless, and that emotion are corrupt, and that we are perfect but sin damages us.
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I understand the sleep thing too, I can't sleep either, I am developing my dad's sleep apnea so I stop breathing when I doze off.
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I've stayed up. I can't sleep. I've tried. But I never get anywhere. I don't wanna sleep either. I always get the haunting memories of my mom's boyfriends doing......*shivers* all the faces of everyone who hurt me, combined into this one person, crushing me. Continuously.
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care_bear19 NoviceWell at least now I know I'm not the only one who gets that nightmare.... I hate it.
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I do too. It's terrifying. I wake up crying.
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care_bear19 NoviceMe too. And I share a room sometimes so I always just lay there crying silently, trying to muffle my voice.
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I share my room sometimes with my sister. But she usually decides to sleep in our step sister's room. But when she does, I dig my nails in my arm so I'll stop.
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care_bear19 NoviceYeah.
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Care, everyone says I'm not alone. But I know I am, but I feel like I am.
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care_bear19 NoviceI wish you didn't feel that way.
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All those pictures on my thread I posted. i feel like.
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Hi I'm on for a bit
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care_bear19 NoviceI know *hugs*
Fluffy: Hello person i have yet to meet -
I know.. it suckered when you are too tormented by the transgressions and pains of your past and you lie waiting for the storm to break knowing that you couldn't possibly sleep when this cloud of despair and anger and hurt forming over you striking you with the bolts of torment that you have endured and then when you think it is all over you realize that the real storm has to even hit. I understand. I have spent many nights up dear invert tear out of my soul in a fervent abyss of how screwed up I am. I have been to the place where I can't even breathe because the pain of my past is too unbearable. I understand.
but guess what? We have been dying in a lye that we have deceived yet refused ourself for an infinity of restless nights and cold metal transgressions. Guess what Jozy? You can't take control of your life and nothing will ever get better, not by yourself, and not by the help of anyone else on this world, only God. Now I don't mean to sound like some dumb preacher when I get on this and I don't you will here me but guess what else? I understand why.
God is the only one who can fix you and pick up all your scattered pieces, so you can't get better first before you do anything, you have to surrender and let him fix you. The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin, yours included. I realize you have absolutely no current reason to listen to a word I say but I want to tell you something that I haven't told anyone;
Over the last few months I haven't been walking with the lord, in fact I rejected him, I used ever excuse in the book and I believed every lie I fed myself. The last few months have been the worst few months I have ever had in my life and the pain I felt has been so unbearable at times -both physically and emotionally- That if I had a gun or pills it a knife I would have killed myself right on the spot just to rid myself of the burden I felt. http ://youtu.be/uFRYdGihOl4 watch That then you get a chance because Tha it's exactly what happened to me, and what happens to all of you and I swear I have never been more happy or sane since I ad eyes change and opened my eyes to the light that Thad been shining on me for a life time and even before that.
Thai still doesn't prove anything to you, but it is worth a shot don't you think? I can't help but think that to need some sort of hope even if you aren't sure it will work. But you have my word that I has worked for me time and time again and it has a worked for millions of other people.
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