BLAH......................
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:14pm
Thread Topic: BLAH......................
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kerri2012 Newbie
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i got this information floating round my brain! i need a conformation that i am ok
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*sigh* 29 more minutes
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kerri2012 Newbieoh wow lol thought u were getting off lol
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welp i'm back. i was gonna take a nap but nah
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kerri2012 Newbie*yawn* wish i could
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28 more minutes
this is pathetic.. -.- I'm counting minutes -
kerri2012 Newbielol why are counting minutes
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because i'm an impatient soul.
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do you like long jokes?
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kerri2012 Newbieoh lol and sure nothing else to do in school
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mm try this one...
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kerri2012 Newbieok lol i will try
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As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.
Under this plan, older employees will be asked to go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the younger people who represent our future.
Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.
This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for employment outside the company. -
SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the program is called SCREW. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).
All employees who have been SLAPPED or SCREWED may file an appeal with the upper management. This is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).
Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.
If an employee follows the above procedures, he/she will be entitled to Get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment) unless he/she already has AIDS (Additional Income From Dependents or Spouse). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.
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