My OFFICIAL thread
Thread Topic: My OFFICIAL thread
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Eyes, in the dead still water,
Tried, but it pushed back harder,
Cauterized, and atrophied,
This is my unbecoming! -
Now I wait,
This metamorphosis,
All that is left is the change,
Selfish fate,
I think you made me this!!
Under the water I wait... -
I really need to go back to college...but that's gonna be really hard.
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When did you leave?
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I left when covid started, pretty much. Was just causing too much chaos. Most ridiculous, I was taking a health and fitness class that included using the college gym stuff...they moved it online. Was very confusing on how you're meant to do the same stuff at home lol, so I decided to try to finish the semester and then just wait it out. Well..it's not looking much better and my eyesight has gotten worse in the interim, so it's gonna be practically impossible to function if I go back. I was already kinda struggling for various reasons.
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Have you considered lasix? I've heard everyone who gets it says it was the most worthwhile thing they've ever done. Poor eyesight certainly won't help your mental health at all. Also I did online school for most of highschool and still take online courses and honestly it's kinda nice unless your career requires you to be there in person. It really depends on who you are and what you're needs are though. What are you in college for btw?
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I don't think there's Lasix for my issue, from what I've been told it's inherent to my specific eye structure. I'd be surprised if I'd never told you, but I don't have an iris, and apparently irises help produce things that help to heal damage in the front of your eye like scratches. Mine therefore don't have that, so they just accumulate damage. I'm trying some stuff to help but it's not helping a lot short-term, it's probably a long term healing process or just a way to more slowly lose an inevitably lost battle. Plus I'm a bit scared of lasix since a close friend of mine had it done and he's now blind in one eye because they botched it. I'd rather have poor eyesight than risk the possibility of losing it entirely. Chances are I'm going to essentially fully lose it anyway so I'd rather not lose it earlier than I have to.
I've considered online classes, but one of the reasons I'm going to college (beyond just helping me get better opportunities/jobs and whatnot) is the potential to make friends, and I did, but that friend group dissolved when covid hit. It was already falling apart but covid straight up killed it. Everyone's moved on now. So I have to find new people. Can't really do that online, especially given that the online communities in the college's system seem to be pretty dead forums. So...gotta attend in person if I want that part of the experience. I've considered doing online classes but going in person anyway, since it gives the best of both. Don't have to deal with seeing the board and whatnot like that, but I still get out of the house, can meet up with clubs, a better reminder to do my work, etc
I'm going right now for associate's of science with a major in astrophysics. Whether I decide to do something else eventually, I don't know. but that's the path I'm on now. May or may not continue and get my bachelor's, I don't know. I guess that depends if I can get this all figured out and whether it goes well. My future is extremely uncertain. -
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news:
At approximately 2:05 this afternoon, an English clockmaker by the name of Hamilton revealed to the world a new kind of clock.
This sick, twisted design displays the time digitally on a small backlit screen, and is run entirely on electricity.
Hamilton predicts that this new ABOMINATION is the way of the future, and believes that someday, these HIDEOUS creations of his will be in every home in the world.
It is with deep regret we announce to you, dear listeners, that the cog is dead.
We repeat, the cog, is dead. -
I didn't know that you weren't able to get lasix. Hopefully as technology develops they'll have better treatments for your condition!
And I get that. The social aspect is pretty important. It seems as though we are putting covid behind us though for the most part so hopefully thing will be more normal there so you can do things if you decide that you want to.
And hey if you're gonna get a degree it might as well be now since there's such a huge push to pardon debt lmao. The odds of ever having to pay it off are definitely lowest right now but I guess we'll see. There's a lot you can do with a science degree too. -
Hopefully, yeah. I know things are being worked on for the underlying situation, such as synthetic irises, but I don't know if there's anything on related things like this.
Yeah, that's the one saving grace in this, the situation is getting better in general. It's just the flare ups I worry about. They tend to shut everything down here since there's tons of people around. Does seem to be getting less severe though, hence why I'm even considering what to do.
Well, one of the few good things about my specific situation is I get some disability benefits, as long as I can stick to a plan and get good grades I don't have to pay tuition, the state will pay it for me - theoretically they would pay for pretty much everything about my college stuff, but the system is just too slow for a lot of things, like books. By the time my request to pay for books is taken care of, we're weeks into classes where the professors require having the latest edition books :-/ Some let you use old editions, but they're the rebels in the system not the standard, lol. But at least I won't have to pay the big tuition and whatnot, so no worries there...as long as I get decent grades, which I was having some trouble with .-. But maybe if I can figure out this better way of doing college in general, for me personally, then maybe I can do better.
Sorry this has all been so rambly, I'm getting tired, and I get rambly when I'm tired .-. -
i feel like a slept a usual amount but from what i can tell i only slept like 6-7 hours,
i usually sleep like at least 12 so that's weird -
I want a sunburn, just to know that I'm alive
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Yeah, you can tell me all your thoughts about the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to when no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends,
'Cause I just don't wanna know,
No, I don't wanna know -
She screams for more, more than just some blue-eyed metaphor
And the trouble is, the trouble is, she's always searching
And the hour's late, don't wanna hear that it's all gonna end soon
No I'm not crazy, I'm in control,
And all of my friends, still know -
How long do you think you will stand?
A fool in the desert, a boy with no plan?
The day's on a last leg again
I cross it off slowly while the next one comes in
It don't really matter, no
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