Heph's thread
- Locked by Hephaestuschild on Dec 10, '20 10:57amReason: Making New Official Thread
Thread Topic: Heph's thread
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I attempted to Kik you before remembering your plan is up. Heh.
What's wrong, Heph? -
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So the news was brought to you? Good.
Emotions building up and I can't handle them. I've never felt so truly alone in my life. -
You're Heph. That's not hard.
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No, I just.. Recalled seeing something. I'm half alseep, though, so I'm glad I wasn't mistaken.
Oh.. Want to talk about it? Or have a topic to get your mind off of it? -
Heph pretends to like everyone even when she hates them. She smiles when she needs to cry.
I don't really /want/ to be Heph, to be honest. To be Heather. A fake. -
well, I'm glad you didn't think I'd just left.
Idk. There's not a lot to talk about. No one loves me, everyone shoves me in the friendzone, I'll never find love, yada yada. My friends are depressing me because they expect me to cheer them on in their relationships and I can't handle it anymore. -
sorry wanna make sure to post all the gifs -
Be whatever you please. I'll be sure to think of you as such if that is your will.
You just got back from leaving. That'd be sad for me to think you'd leave so soon.
I love you. Perhaps not in the way you're talking about, but I love you. And I've never told that to anyone over here besides my family. No one is worth caring for so deeply. But you are. You're a very important friend to me and this isn't my sleepy side speaking. I've cared for you since the first time we meet and it grew every night we stayed up RPing and chatting. That love won't die. It hasn't died for anyone else, really. I bet you'll find someone. I understand that part. I try my best to cheer, though, so I'm not the same in that aspect. I do know I won't find love for now. Not out here, anyways. Perhaps you need to look elsewhere, Heph.. Heather. I know you're afraid of surrounding change but how else will you be able to find a type of love further than friends and family? It's not a small world, as that mother f---ing ride says. It's big. You just need to do a little mate searching. -
Eh. I don't care. I'll probably revert back to Heph in a few days. Always do.
I think you all could survive without me tbh.
I know you love me. I know.
It's beyond fear, It is full blown panic attacks and terror. There's no way I'll ever leave. Thus I will be alone. -
Still, be who you want to be, if only for a while. I've completely turned into Dark here. I was Jillian from the start. I'll go back again. But I get the choice of that. And you do too.
I could. I don't wish to, however. And I know you don't either. I'd prefer keeping you with me as long as I can because I most certainly feel like I need you.
Do you? Why question about love, then?
You've never left before? -
I'd like to further talk to you, but I can't stare at this screening longer. Will you be on tomorrow?
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*stare at this screen any longer
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Doesn't feel that way. If I'm not Heph, people avoid me.
I need you all too. It'd hurt to leave.
I don't question friend love. I question love love. No one really loves me loves me, and I feel ugly and stupid and like trash. I just wake up some days and wonder "Is it my fault? Am I scaring everyone away? What is wrong with me?"
Never left my family for any period of time whatsoever, except to visit friends who lives nearby. I always freaked as a kid about being separated from my family so they never bothered to make me.
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