Jill's beautiful amazing thread! :D
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:24pm
Thread Topic: Jill's beautiful amazing thread! :D
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Oh god here I go.
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Crushes are pointless if the person doesn't like you back. I know we'll never be together, but I still like that person. It's so pointless. It just leaves me being depressed. I like 2 people currently. 1 seems perfect, but he's way out of my league, and I KNOW he doesn't like me. The other one isn't so perfect, but he's far away, and both of these guys like girls. And some of those girls like them back. I can;t even talk to the first one anymore, we don't have classes together. And I never get a chance to talk to the other one. I like them, and they'll never like me back. It's pointless. I just get depressed knowing I have no chance with either of them in the future. I hate crushes, I wish I didn't like anyone. God f---ing dammit ;~;
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I wish I could be that 1 person he could talk to. That 1 person he could go to, to help him with all his problems. But he doesn't feel like talking, and most people that aren't my close friends don't know I could be that person. I AM that person for 1 friend. I just want to help him. But he doesn't need help. He doesn't want help. I worry about him. It's killing me. The dreams are killing me. The stupid ass dreams. They've been replaced by the ones about Nathan for the past 3 days, but they'll keep going on after. I hate them. I hate all of this confusing crap.
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The dream about the suicide. That one killed me. I woke up in tears. I don't even know why I had it. He would never do that. I could feel the f---ing heartbreak, and then what I wrote after. I thought the dream was real for a second. Then the other dreams. The lying....the betrayel...all this crap that would never happen. I had 2 dreams last night, one of them had him in it. I had no desire to go to school after that dream. So I didn't. I just need to talk to him.
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I need to stop with these f---ing stupid posts from my journal thingy. I have over 100 I'm not gonna write them all...
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I f---ing love you. But it doesn't matter because you don't love me back. You'll never love me back. It's pointless.
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And I don't want a relationship anyways. Not now, won't last. Not until I'm 16, at least. Another 3 years.
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I am a goldfish, trying to be fierce in an ocean of sharks.
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Yea hate to break it to you but that will never work, Lena.
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Now please leave so I can post my s--- on here.
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It's for my homework.
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I need to stop. I really need to stop.
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I wish the world could stop for just 2 f---ing seconds so I can have some time to think.
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Everything okay...?
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PLus, we don't have the same beleifs, it would never work out. He's like straight up christian and I'm here all like "EeeehbornjewishbutagnosticIdunnowheretogomyfeelingsaboutgodaresomixed*
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