Please Help!
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:21pm
Thread Topic: Please Help!
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Okay, so I'm writing a paranormal love story. Here's the first chapter:
The clouds were a dark grey, covering the beautiful sunlight that could've been shining through. Shards of thunder and lightning bursted through the clouds, heavy raindrops falling. A faint pitter patter could be heard from the old, rotted Mansion's roof..
Skye rubbed the old pearls that laid on her neck. Her pale complexion shone from the clouds, her dull ice blue eyes looking colder then ever. Her snow white long hair laid in a beautiful side bun, beautifully braided carefully where her bangs would've laid. A white wedding-like dress seemed to shine with her skin, making her appear as an angel.
A jingle at the door interrupted the silence that was usually spread through the old house, and a whisper flew out of her gentle plump lips.. "He's here."
Soon Skye was no where to be seen, and a sillohette of a man stood at the doorway. The man took off his coat and hat, revealing chocolate brown shaggy hair and jade green eyes. His complexion was a neutral color, and his lips let out a yawn as he put away his umbrella.
He examined the house carefully, checking everything the house had in store. The bathrooms, the kitchen, the bedrooms, the pantry, etc. He sighed as he entered one of the bedrooms, a eerie precense interrupting the young man's calmness. "Hello?" he called out, feeling as he was being watched. He turned around, and there a beautiful young woman stood. She looked normal, and she was very pretty. "How are you?" he asked, blinking in confusion.
"I am Skye. My father was the one who sold you the house." she responded, her ice blue eyes now appearing alive.
"Oh, your father is Mr. Thompson? He's a lovely salesman. My name is Jakob." The young man responded, reaching out his had for the girl to shake. She took it happily, curtesying afterwards. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jakob."
Jakob's brow rose. Why the hell did she just curtsey..? Nevermind, must be a family tradition.
Skye heard his thoughts, and secretly glared at him. She turned, making her way out of the room. "Well, I guess I need to be going.. Don't want to upset my father." she responded, gently smiling at Jakob. She then made her way down the stairs.
"Wait up!" Jakob yelled after her, rushing out of the room. "A beautiful lady like you shouldn't be out in horrible weather like this!"
A faint pink rose to Skye's cheeks as she turned, smiling again. "Thank you, kind sir. But how am I going to communicate my father and tell him?"
"You can use my phone." Jakob replied, grabbing the cell out of his pocket and handing it to her.
"Thank you." Skye smiled, taking it and dialing a random number. She pretended to be talking to her father, and she soon closed the phone. "He said alright."
Jakob gently took the cell phone, it's warm touch now freezing cold. "Thank you." He soon noticed something.. Something was different about Skye.. But what was it? -
It cut me off. ._.
I need help with a title.
I want something unique... -
*"Who are you?"
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EPIC
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Thanks Bookwormy. xD
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And her hair is supposed to be a snow white blonde. ._.
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That is really awesome. So you need a title?
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Not Everything Is As It Seems
Unexcpected Suprises
World of Wonder
Hope these help and cant wait to see the first part! -
Ooo I really like it so far, but I'm horrible at making titles (easy to see at a glance at my series :P) so I'm sorry I can't help, but I'd love to see more of it
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