Is my book so far alright?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:13pm
Thread Topic: Is my book so far alright?
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Chapter One
My Newly Began Life
Hello, I am Mindona Elliot. I am age 10, and a 5th grader at Millsbird Elementary School. I have fire red hair, the length is to my elbows. I am 4.9 in height, and I have paper pale skin.
I have red freckles on my face, and light blue colored eyes. I have three siblings, that look nothing like me, or each other.
I am third oldest, the oldest, age 17 is Jack, he has light brown hair, and brown eyes, very tanned skin, no freckles, and is in Franklelots College.
Then there is Adreannah, who is 12, Bronze hair, up to her shoulders, and a couple freckles, palish skin, and is a 7th grader at Litmath Juinior High.
Then me, next is Drake, age 9, he has slick black hair, wears contacts, five freckles, tan skin, and a 3rd grader at Millsbird Elementary School.
As I said, we look nothing like each other. At least the others, look like Uncle Jess and our parents. I swear, I am adopted.
I have this weird shape on my wrist, its hard to hide. And sometimes when I am mad things explode, or fly out at me, and I have these crazy nightmares too.
And whenever somebody tries to cut my hair, it grows right back if I do not like the way it looks, its crazy. That is some of the reasons I think I am an adopted child.
Okay I am gonna get on to where everything happened on my first day of school summer five.
"Mindona! Drake! Adreannah! Get up and ready for school!"My Mom, Linda yelled up the stairs into mine, Drake's and Adreannah's bedrooms.. I tossed in bed 'School already?' I thought. I got out of bed, and made my bed, I went to my closest, which is filled of the latest styles.... To my Mom.
I put on this shirt with a light pink and purple star on it, and some short short jeans. I went to my mirrior, and decided to put my hair in eight braids. I went downstairs and sat at the table, like always, I am the first child there. My Mom gave me some waffles and I ate as fast as I could, to tell the truth, I think school is a bit fun sometimes. After I finished eating, and as soon as the others got there. I went to brush my teeth, I always had healthy teeth, and always had a great body figure. I finished brushing my teeth, and checked my cellphone, no new messages. I went to get my book bag when all the lights in the house turned off, I went over to the light switch, seeing if I could turn it on. I have always been afraid of the dark since I was 9. The most scariest thing happened to me. I will tell you later.... The house started to shake, and BAD. We never have earth quakes in London! The house started to shake harder, I started screaming in terror. I heard the others screaming to, and my Dad came down the stairs and picked me up. He went to sit in a doorway I noticed the others were too, Drake with Mom and Adreannah with Uncle Jess. All the kids but me were screaming. I all the sudden stopped screaming so I could think straight.
But the next thing I knew, the same shape, the same figure, came out of my favorite chair behind him. The same figure, of the thing I seen when I was 9.... I stared at it, as I did I noticed something, I've read some books since the incident when I was 9. And I always believed in the Myths of all kind... Its a Dementor.... I thought. I stared at it.... I started to lose my feeling. And my dad was yelling my name and shaking me... as everything came all blurry and in flashes. Then, I noticed the earthquake stopped and the lights turned on and the thing disappeared. After a few more shakes the feeling came back, but everyone was starring at me. Not what I was starring at.
I stood up and walked to the door and got my book bag and ran out the door. With my family still starring at me.
What had happened back there that made my family stare at me like that? I didn't do anything but lose my feeling of my body. What if my soul came out for a moment? What if that happens again? I started asking myself in thoughts. I noticed I was in class by then. And I was getting my supplies out of my bag. My best friend came over. "Hi.... Did you experience the horrible quake this morning Mindona?" Zach said, he is my best bud. I nodded yes. But then the lights turned off again and every girl but me screamed, even my teacher screamed. What good is screaming gonna do if it doesn' t hurt or scare anybody or anything thats trying to get you? I questioned myself in thought. The earth started to shake harder then ever and I feel down to my knees, and started screaming. For two reasons, A. My mouth started to bleed. bad. and B. My wrist was killing me. I started to close my eyes but forcing them to stay open. The quake stopped, I stopped screaming but was trying hard to stay awake.... My teacher screamed at the site of me and sent Zach to get the nurse. I was sobbing in pain and holding my burning wrist. Somehow I hit my head and my head started to get the warm feeling of blood. I screamed. I was in so much pain. I was begging myself to die. I started seeing white specks in my visions. "I... am dying..." I made out before I started shaking as hard as the earthquake "Keep fighting Mindona, we know you can..." My teacher said. It took me till then to notice the lights didn't turn on... I seen the figure. right in front of my face. I tried to release myself from its stare I screamed more then ever, and shooked. The teacher noticed the thing in front of me and screamed her lungs out. And she fainted. Everyone else was trying to get me away from the thing since I seemed to be its victim right now.
I sobbed worster when the nurse came in and started nursing the teacher first. I was in worster shape then her. The thing touched my head and pounded my face into the floor. The other kids screamed " GET AWAY FROM HER YOU MONSTER!!!!" Yelled Zach. I watched him jump right on the figure but at the same time I felt pain in my leg. The thing was cutting my leg! Then the lights came on. I was reliefed and I noticed my breathing was coming in short fast gasps; the nurse noticed me in the middle of waking up the picture, and gasped and then when people starred at the part of me she was looking at they gasped. I noticed it was my wrist they were starring at. I could'nt look at the wrist unless if I wanted to smash my face again. I somehow was able to get into a position where I could reach my bookbag and grab my cellphone, I was still fighting the pain as hard as I could. I dialed only three numbers.... 911.... Who else should I call. I put the phone up to my ear. "Hello? Hello?" The nice lady at the answering machine said. I couldn't answer. I could speak. The only thing I could do, but barely, was breath.
Zach noticed I wasn't talking, so He grabbed the phone from me. "Hello, we need a police and a ambulance." Zach said.
The lady said something. "Millsbird Elementary School. Classroom five." Zach said in respond.
The lady said something then Zach hung up and stared at me into my eyes.
He look like he was about to cry at the look of me all bloody. I stared back, trying to show him there is nothing to worry about.
I noticed something then. I noticed something I never did within the 9 of my 10 years of life I have known him.
He had a shape on his chin, very hard to see, it was a shape of a cloud. I just have this feeling, that its gonna be awhile before everything is back to normal for him. Maybe forever.
He kepted on starring at me, and when the people came, he begged them to let him go. The people stared at him. And for the first time, I noticed he was hurt too. Not as bad as me.
But close enough. The people aloud it. Because he was crawling around like he couldn't use his feet. They raised me and him on a stretcher and we were off.
On the way to the hospital. Oh boy you do not wanna know! I'll tell you anyway for those action lover readers.
There was another earthquake! I have no idea how bad! All I know is that we got into a accident and I got knocked out!
But when I woke up I was in shock. In shock that I was alive. In shock -
YOU USED ME!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs mula*
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Here is more...
But the next thing I knew, the same shape, the same figure, came out of my favorite chair behind him. The same figure, of the thing I seen when I was 9.... I stared at it, as I did I noticed something, I've read some books since the incident when I was 9. And I always believed in the Myths of all kind... Its a Dementor.... I thought. I stared at it.... I started to lose my feeling. And my dad was yelling my name and shaking me... as everything came all blurry and in flashes. Then, I noticed the earthquake stopped and the lights turned on and the thing disappeared. After a few more shakes the feeling came back, but everyone was starring at me. Not what I was starring at.
I stood up and walked to the door and got my book bag and ran out the door. With my family still starring at me.
What had happened back there that made my family stare at me like that? I didn't do anything but lose my feeling of my body. What if my soul came out for a moment? What if that happens again? I started asking myself in thoughts. I noticed I was in class by then. And I was getting my supplies out of my bag. My best friend came over. "Hi.... Did you experience the horrible quake this morning Mindona?" Zach said, he is my best bud. I nodded yes. But then the lights turned off again and every girl but me screamed, even my teacher screamed. What good is screaming gonna do if it doesn' t hurt or scare anybody or anything thats trying to get you? I questioned myself in thought. The earth started to shake harder then ever and I feel down to my knees, and started screaming. For two reasons, A. My mouth started to bleed. bad. and B. My wrist was killing me. I started to close my eyes but forcing them to stay open. The quake stopped, I stopped screaming but was trying hard to stay awake.... My teacher screamed at the site of me and sent Zach to get the nurse. I was sobbing in pain and holding my burning wrist. Somehow I hit my head and my head started to get the warm feeling of blood. I screamed. I was in so much pain. I was begging myself to die. I started seeing white specks in my visions. "I... am dying..." I made out before I started shaking as hard as the earthquake "Keep fighting Mindona, we know you can..." My teacher said. It took me till then to notice the lights didn't turn on... I seen the figure. right in front of my face. I tried to release myself from its stare I screamed more then ever, and shooked. The teacher noticed the thing in front of me and screamed her lungs out. And she fainted. Everyone else was trying to get me away from the thing since I seemed to be its victim right now.
I sobbed worster when the nurse came in and started nursing the teacher first. I was in worster shape then her. The thing touched my head and pounded my face into the floor. The other kids screamed " GET AWAY FROM HER YOU MONSTER!!!!" Yelled Zach. I watched him jump right on the figure but at the same time I felt pain in my leg. The thing was cutting my leg! Then the lights came on. I was reliefed and I noticed my breathing was coming in short fast gasps; the nurse noticed me in the middle of waking up the picture, and gasped and then when people starred at the part of me she was looking at they gasped. I noticed it was my wrist they were starring at. I could'nt look at the wrist unless if I wanted to smash my face again. I somehow was able to get into a position where I could reach my bookbag and grab my cellphone, I was still fighting the pain as hard as I could. I dialed only three numbers.... 911.... Who else should I call. I put the phone up to my ear. "Hello? Hello?" The nice lady at the answering machine said. I couldn't answer. I could speak. The only thing I could do, but barely, was breath.
Zach noticed I wasn't talking, so He grabbed the phone from me. "Hello, we need a police and a ambulance." Zach said.
The lady said something. "Millsbird Elementary School. Classroom five." Zach said in respond.
The lady said something then Zach hung up and stared at me into my eyes.
He look like he was about to cry at the look of me all bloody. I stared back, trying to show him there is nothing to worry about.
I noticed something then. I noticed something I never did within the 9 of my 10 years of life I have known him.
He had a shape on his chin, very hard to see, it was a shape of a cloud. I just have this feeling, that its gonna be awhile before everything is back to normal for him. Maybe forever.
He kepted on starring at me, and when the people came, he begged them to let him go. The people stared at him. And for the first time, I noticed he was hurt too. Not as bad as me.
But close enough. The people aloud it. Because he was crawling around like he couldn't use his feet. They raised me and him on a stretcher and we were off.
On the way to the hospital. Oh boy you do not wanna know! I'll tell you anyway for those action lover readers.
There was another earthquake! I have no idea how bad! All I know is that we got into a accident and I got knocked out!
But when I woke up I was in shock. In shock that I was alive. In shock about where I was.
I looked around the room. I seen a nurse. She had some kind of stick in her hand. And instead of paper, there were parchment.
And also, instead of pens, I noticed, there were ink and quills. Then I noticed Zach in the hospital bed next to me. He was just staring at the ceiling.
Murmuring to himself. "Hi....." I said in a harsh whisper. I was relieved that I could speak again. He gave a little jump.
"Your... Alive Mindona?" Zach asked.
"Yes I am, what? You believe you can talk to ghost now?"
"Hahaha Mindona, I was getting very worried about you..." He sounded desperate.
"Whats wrong with you? I know we almost got killed, but wheres the humor?"
"You don't get it Mindona."
"I don't get what? Zach tell me!" I said, getting desperate.
"When you knocked out, the thing came back."
"Yes yes?"
"And it said something, something scary."
"More detail please!"
Ignoring me he said " He said.... ' Both your lifes are about to change deeply into sorrow and pain! ' And then disappeared into the darkness."
I stared at him, I stared at him in shock. After awhile of my silence he turned his head to me.
I kept staring at him. He stared right back. There was something in his eyes.
Pain. Pain was in his eyes. He never wanted this life. Nor did I.
I looked over to the side table. My cellphone was there. Yay!
I picked it up and checked the messages. One new message.
From: Mom
Mindona are you alright?
I have been so worried about you sweetie!
Could you do me a favor and call me when you recieve this message?
They won't let me into the room you are in :(
I love you.
To: Mindona ;]
I held on to the phone and sent her a text. It was something like this.
From: Mindona ;]
Mom, I am fine.
I have no idea where I am.
Zach is acting weird too.
I am bored and tired.
Ask the docters if I could have my laptop please.
I didn't want to call because it hurts me to talk right now.
So I am just laying here.
This place is super weird though. It has parchment instead of paper and quills instead of pens.
And the caretakers carry around a stick!
These people are crazy.
To: Mom
I tried to sit up. But a nurse came in so I just laid back down. She looked at me and I noticed, for the first time that me nor Zach have any cuts or bruises.
The nurse was carrying a stick around. I was trying not to be rude or anything so I just ignored it. "How long have I been out?" I asked her. She didn't answer. So I just guessed she couldn't talk... Or maybe hear. She handed me a peice of parchment with writing on it, then handed Zach the same thing. Then she some clothing at the end of our beds, then I noticed the date. It was past my and Zach's birthdays and it was September 15th! Gosh time goes super fast! I was asleep for twenty days! Wow! I noticed that Zach read his parchment then stood up and grabbed his clothing and -
I think it copied a bit of a copy of the first, sorry.
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I wanna publish this, hahaha think I could?
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IT'S AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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thanks hatshep, now u know what I been doing huh?
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Yeah! I see where you're going with this though...COOL!!!!!
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Hahaha! Thanks! I might add sisi and Carri too! I gotta figure out their real names though! I thought it was weird I added Jack though, xD
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LOL, are you gonna give the family large roles in the story?
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Gonna try at the school :)
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Okayz, POST MORE!!!!!!!!
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Okay here is a little bit more....
After two days of mourning around we woke up with a parchment under our heads. I looked over and Zach was still asleep. I stood up, and walked over to Zach's bed.
When I was fixing to bend over and shake him " BWUAHHHHAAA!!! " He screamed " AguahhhhH!" I screamed back, then we both laughed.
Its been awhile since we laughed. I was glad we did though, get all the sadness out. I grabbed my parchment and opened it up. It said something like this....
Dear Mindona,
I hope I did not wake you
when I gave you this parchment.
Can you come meet me in the same place
as soon as you get this parchment?
Thanks.
Your friend,
Dalias Kluless
Where AM I getting at to you? -
G2g bye bye!
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Dalias Klulass, That sounds like Dali is clueless! LOL!!!!!
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