Random Things I Just Wrote Addressed To Who Knows What
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:16pm
Thread Topic: Random Things I Just Wrote Addressed To Who Knows What
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Goodbye my love,
Until we meet again,
Let the sun rise and set,
And days go by.
And when I see your face once more,
Is when a smile will return to my face.
And in my heart
Your love will fill the empty space.
__________________________________
Ice encases my soul.
My heart turned to stone,
For only with you could it thaw.
Like you,
My happiness,
My heart,
And my spirit
Are gone
Without a
Trace.
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Do you ever feel my presence, as if I am right beside you as I used to be? Do you see my face when you close your eyes? Hear my voice as you lie awake through long, restless nights? Have you ever longed for a second chance? Are there words you’ve never said that you now wish you did? It is too late for apologies, my love. You have to live with yourself now, knowing that you’ve failed me, wronged my life. If you could take back all of your faults, would you do it in a heartbeat? Living with no soul, no heart, wasting away in your icy, cold world. A monster. That is what you are. Living in the shadows of your past. You do not deserve existence, yet you still steal it from others, satisfying your quench for pain and agony… Living in your lies, now a sea of hatred surrounds you, slowly swallowing you, bringing you under, until it devours your very core. -
They tell me to never say never,
But hope is slowly shriveling away,
And as I struggle to stay alive,
I am hanging by a thread.
I fall into the black abyss,
As I feel myself slip away slowly,
A hand grabs mine and hoists me up towards the sky.
It’s them,
I’d recognize that face anywhere,
They're the one who’s always been there.
Every time I fall,
Each time I fail to stay,
They brings me back.
The only thing that saves me
When I'm hanging by a thread.
Their eyes meet mine as my tears slowly slide down my raw cheeks.
And I think,
Thank you. -
"One cannot live without the memories of yesterday and the interest of tomorrow."
- Alana -
Woah
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Remembering you opens a wound in my heart. I am ridden with the guilt of trying to forget. Hearing your voice in the wind grants me the pain from years of silence. If only you would return; as if I deserve a second chance. The reason you have left me is, well, me. If I had just listened and said 'Don't go' you'd still be here. But I went along with it. Little did I know when you said you were leaving you meant forever.
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One, two, three, four... Your steps proceed farther away from me. I hear the door shut loudly. I messed up; the fault is mine. To think I could get away with treating you like I did, that you would still love me regardless. I turned into a beast. I wasn't myself. If I could redo everything I would. You place the key in the ignition and pull out of my driveway. Our driveway. Our house... We... There is no 'we' anymore. I can't help but yearn for your presence once more.
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Isolation. It is not torture. It's escape... from you, from them. From their scrutiny and your pressing questions. I just need out. There's only one way to make sure I'm gone. I'm sorry. This is goodbye.
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The sun rises in the east, sets in the west. When the sun rises, a kind soul is born and light overpowers the looming darkness. But once the sun sets, that spirit turns dark, carrying out the devilish actions of the evil ones until the world becomes a pitch black nothingness. Only prayers and hopes can ensure that the sun will rise yet again. For there will come a day when the sun fails to return, and the world will forever be under the reign of the devil.
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Hurt. Betrayal. Longing to start over. Just wasting away in this cruel world we live in. My thoughts have been told. Why must I go? I am no more.
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The rain pours faster and faster, engulfing the world in its thundering rage. Lightning flashes. Anger and tension fill the air. The cloud is crying, for they did not mean to hurt the sky, but the sky lashes out, electrical shocks running through the cloud's heart as the sky hollers onward. A friendship is broken. A bond is lost. Ponder this for a moment. What would happen if your whole world, all you've known, was caught up in this storm? One very mush like this, only bigger and louder? What would it mean to you, one who tries to keep peace? Would you stand up and fight? Or cower away like I have, isolating myself from all who offer a helping hand? Just think of this when you are in my same shoes. Happiness doesn't come without a price. What it costs is up to you.
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Believing in oneself is a value we all need. Love and compassion helps us through the rough times. Discipline and order keeps us in line and out of harm. What happens when one or more of these key things are lacking? Do we let ourselves crumble to the ground, our foundations pulled out from underneath us? Or do we stand tall, plant our feet firmly in the ground and start again, this time replenishing what we do not have plenty of? To be or not to be... To live or not to live. To cry or not to cry? To fight or not to fight? The questions ring in your head as your thoughts rush every which-way, a jumbled up mass of confusion. Never lose yourself, my friend. Never let go of the grass. Hold on tightly to the bright green blades, cool against your warm, welcoming hands. For one day, when your grip lessens, you will be taken from this very Earth. You will be gone. And with you, my spirit.
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'Leave me here, but take with you my wisdom. My experience and knowledge will guide you on your life journey, as my father's did mine. Go, child. Go before they come for me. Run as fast as your legs will take you. Let the wind carry you along, putting distance between you and fate, as much as you possibly can. For when fate comes, life as you know it will never be the same.'
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Distractions. I need distractions. Pouring my emotions on to this page. That is what gets me through each and every day. For without this pen and paper, my knife would be my pen, my body my slate. And I would forever be captivated in the depression and angst that cumbers me so.
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Sorry? Sorry means nothing to my lacerated heart. You may apologize as many times as you wish. You will go unforgiven. For I do not believe in forgiveness. Forgetting is out of the question. Even if I do somehow let this scar escape from my memory, the wound will always be torn open once again. Do not burden me with your guilt. I will never dismiss from mind what you have done.
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As I close my eyes, I remember. I remember the times I was happy with you. Thinking of those times only makes the worst even more vivid. I wish I could let myself fail to recall these things so that my still shattered heart could have a chance to recover. But from now on it will be held together only by a few meager threads and hope that my future may be better than what it is now.
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