My Story: The Power of the Elements.
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Thread Topic: My Story: The Power of the Elements.
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CHAPTER 1 : The Red Gem.
Hello there. I'm Potus. I'm a boy with blue hair and purple eyes. I have a height of around 170 centimeters. My friends in school always call me "The Different" because of my physical appearance.
I have a younger sister. Her name is Emerald. Like his name, her hair is red and her eyes are orange. She is shorter than me. Many friends in my school like her and of course she is popular in the school.
Today is a holiday, so I don't have to go to school. That's good and I like it. I woke up 4 hours ago at 6 AM. I'm now in my bedroom, on my study desk, writing this diary.
"Hey Potus, come down for breakfast!" His mother shouts from downstairs.
"Yes mom!" Potus replies and goes downstairs.
Potus walks down the stairs and come to the dining room. His father and mother are there, also Emerald is there. His mother prepares beef steak on a plate for them. Potus, Emerald, his father and mother take a seat near the table and starts to eat.
It takes around twenty minutes until they finish eating.
"Potus, Emerald, I and father are going to work. We will be home later at the evening. Take care of yourself and don't forget to close the door everytime." His mother tells Potus and Emerald.
"Yes mom!" Potus and Emerald replies.
"Good..." His father says.
Their mother and father wear their working clothes then lock their room and go outside the house. They open a car and drive out from the house.
Potus and Emerald start to get bored after two hours of their parents leaving. Because of that, they are starting to play at their home's garden. They took a ball from the storage and go out.
While they're searching a place to play on the backyard. They see something strange. They see a red gem on the dirt and they took and examine it. After few minutes, they get back to their bedroom and examine the gem. They check on the internet and find nothing about it.
Suddenly, the gem starts to shine and it's very bright. They can't even see the gem. The gem cracks and it looks like the gem's power floats in front of Potus and Emerald. The ray of power is absorbed by Potus and Emerald, making them fall unconscious.
They are finally awake. However, they are in a different world. They are in a dense forest with lots of trees and plants with flowers. They stand up and walk around for a little, and found an elf sitting on a rock near them.
"Excuse me." Potus says. The elf stands up and stare at them.
"Who are you? How can you be here, humans?" The elf asks loudly.
"Umm... I'm Potus and she's Emerald. I don't have any idea how we went here. I only remember that I and Emerald touched a red gem." Potus replies.
"Red gem? No, no... Impossible." The elf says. Potus looks worried and ask.
"Why? What's with the red gem?"
"It's a gem that's called Aura Gem. Whenever you touch it, the gem will dissolve into you and the power transfers to you." The elf answers, then continues, "You will have the power to transform yourself into a stronger being."
"Wow.. That's good for us." Emerald replies.
"But... You will have to face lots of battles and obstacles until you become free." The elf says.
"No way! So, what's our obstacle?" Potus asks.
"You will be sent to many different worlds to save them and fight the darkness." The elf answers, then continues, "Here, follow me, I will show you."
"Ok." Potus and Emerald replies then follow the elf.
Chapter One Ends. -
CHAPTER 2 : The Magenta and Cyan Aura.
Lotus and Ruby follow the elf into a village. Typically elf village. They enter the village and walk to a headquarter. Anyway, lots of elves stare at them.
They enter the headquarter and see an elf with a crown. They automatically know that it's the king from all elves. The king asks to them.
"So... What's bring this human here?" The king asks to the elf.
"To your pleasure, King. These humans are called Lotus and Ruby. They touched the Aura Gem and they were sent here, to this world." The elf answers.
The king thinks for some time then asks Lotus and Ruby.
"So... You're the Elemental?"
"I think yes." Lotus says.
"You're the chosen one to save our world. However, are you prepared?" The king asks.
"Of course no. We went here few hours ago and you have asked us to save your world. Ideally impossible." Lotus answers.
"Have you known your power yet?" The king asks.
"No." Lotus and Ruby answer.
"That's the reason. Here follow me. I will show you your power." The king tells them to follow him.
Without answering, Lotus and Ruby follow the king into a training ground. The training ground is actually very large and are made of stone.
"So... We will start here." The king tells them, "First of all, let's focus on your aura in your body."
Lotus and Ruby close their eyes then focus on their aura. Suddenly, Cyan aura starts to surround Lotus, while Magenta aura forms near Ruby.
"Good. Now imagine a thing that'll happen to you. A good thing, of course." The king says.
Lotus are thinking about him wearing cyan armor and bringing a cyan sword, while Ruby thinks about her bringing a wand in her hand.
"Now focus and visualise your thing starts to form in the reality." The king says.
Lotus and Ruby do what the king said and it's right, their things start to form in the reality. Lotus wears cyan armor and a cyan sword forms in his hand. Ruby forms a wand in her hand.
"Wow..." Lotus and Ruby are surprised, then asks "Is this real?"
"It is..." The king answers, "Now you have the power to save our world."
"Ok." They reply.
"Before you do it, let's try how strong is your body. Even when you have good abilities, you have to have a good body too." The king says.
The king calls his strong guardian to fight with Lotus and Ruby. Those elves aren't easy as all, as they are trained everyday to be the best elf warrior of all. This will be also their training too.
"Elves! I give you a job. Fight Lotus and Ruby with all of your power you've got!" The king shouts to them.
"With your pleasure, we'll do!" The elves reply.
"Good, now go!" The king say.
The elves start to run to Lotus and Ruby. They are holding daggers in their left hand and right hand. Those daggers are very sharp, must be.
However, Lotus and Ruby still don't know what to do. But, Lotus try to fight them. Lotus dashes forward with a great speed and slashes one of the elves with the blade. The elf fails to dodge and hurt badly on the ground. That's a good hit.
Another elf throws a dagger to him, but Lotus doesn't know it. The dagger flies fast and almost hit Lotus, but it falls due to Ruby's magic wand. The wand keeps them save from any projectiles.
Lotus finally knows this and he dashes backward and jumps to the air. He swings his blade to the elf very fast, and of course the elf can't dodge.
Another elf runs forward fast, but not to Lotus, it's hunting Ruby. The elf jumps and plunges to Ruby. However, Ruby uses her magic to form an explosive orb to the elf and the orb explodes right near the orb. The elf falls down to the ground hurt.
Back to Lotus. An elf tries to strike him quietly from his back. But it fails and Lotus counter-attacks the elf with his strong sword. He swings to it three times until he falls unconscious.
"Stop!" The king suddenly shouts, "You both are strong and don't need more training."
Then the king asks the elf to retreat back with the hurt elf. The king asks them to bring them to the barrack for healing.
"Hey. That's not bad at all!" The king says to Lotus and Ruby.
"Thanks." Ruby replies.
"Now let's prepare for your trip." The king tells them.
"Our trip?" Lotus looks confused and asks.
"Yes. Your trip to save our world. From a dragon, exactly." The king says.
"A dragon? That's gonna be hard!" Ruby says.
"Don't worry, you'll have guardians too, my elves will guide you and assist you." The king calms them.
"That's better." Lotus says and puts his right hand to his neck, "Really."
The king says to them, "Let's go to the.."
However, before the king finishes his conversation, a green dragon flies over the training ground and lands on it.
"That's the dragon." The king says, "This is an emergency and unpredictable. Because of that, you must fight with the dragon now."
"What?!" Lotus and Ruby says and lifts their sword and wand, "I think this won't end good!"
Chapter Two Ends. -
CHAPTER 3 : The Forest Dragon
Potus and Emerald lifts her wand and ready to fight the dragon. The green dragon is the forest dragon and really dangerous. If they fail to kill it, the elf village will be in danger.
Before the battle starts, the dragon breathes poison in front of them. However, Potus jumps in front of Emerald and king and blocks the poison with his sword.
Emerald cleanse the poison with her wand, but it don't stop the dragon to attack. The dragon plunges to Potus and Potus can't dodge. Potus is knocked over and falls to the ground.
Emerald knows that the wand won't be useful anymore to face the dragon. She imagines another thing. At the end, he forms a white bow in her hand and wings on her back.
She flies high to the sky and shoots an explosive arrow to the dragon and it works well. The dragon stops for a little, but then flies to the sky and to Emerald. The dragon forms a tornado in the sky and it makes Emerald thrown to the ground.
"Ah!" Emerald shouts.
"Hey dragon!" The king attracts the dragon and runs away.
The king runs fast enough for an elf and while running, he calls his soldiers.
"Elves! Come here! We need you!" The king shouts.
The elves soldier jumps over the headquarter and lands on the training ground. With a total of fifty, they run to attack the dragon. They start to swing their dagger to the dragon, but it doesn't even hurt the dragon.
The dragon flaps his wing hardly and the elves thrown back to the ground. The king is scared. The dragon stares the king and breathes poison to him. However, Potus has awoken and blocks the poison.
Potus imagines wings on his back and it happens. Potus flies to the dragon and swing his blade to it's head multiple times. Some hit and some not. However, the dragon's tail hit him and he falls.
Before hitting the ground, Emerald has saved him from falling with her bubble arrow. Saved Potus dashes fast to the dragon and slices the dragon's leg. It works good, those leg can't stand anymore.
The dragon can't stand on the ground and have to fly. The dragon doesn't attack Potus, or the king, or Emerald, or the elves, but it tries to escape.
Emerald pulls his bow out and shoots a trang arrow to the dragon, but it misses and the dragon successfully escaped. This is bad.
"We can't let it escape!" Potus says and runs to the border of the village. However before leaving, the king tells him takes his hand.
"No, you can't leave us alone." The king says, "Let it leave, and then we can together approach it."
Because of what the king said, Potus decides not to leave and talks to Emerald, his sister.
"I did bad." Potus says.
"No, you didn't." Emerald replies.
"Yes, I did. It was my fault. I let the dragon escaped." Potus replies.
"No, it wasn't. It's not my fault too. Not anyone's fault. You don't have to be sad, brother." Emerald calms Potus.
Potus hugs Emerald and cries on her shoulder heavily. Potus feels that Emerald is a person that he needs. Emerald hugs him with both of her hands.
The king sees this and he feels emotional. But, an unpredictable thing happens. The elves soldier goes laughing heavily, which makes the king angry.
"What's with the laughter?!" The king shouts to them.
"Have you forgotten? The dragon's leg was hurt badly and the dragon will die out there." One of the elves says.
The king, Potus and Emerald become happy after hearing what the elf said and say back.
"You're right. Let's search for the dragon now."
"Ok, Sir!" The elves reply.
They prepare their belongings and walks out from the village, entering the forest, and onto the mountain. However, what they see isn't what they expected.
Chapter Three Ends. -
CHAPTER 4 : The Way of Victory
"No way!" Potus says.
They are seeing forest serpents in the forest eating the dragon. The serpents are big enough to be called as "monsters".
"We've killed the dragon." Potus says and continues, "However, we have another problem to take care with. The serpent."
"Why not we start?" The king asks Potus.
"Start what?" Potus replies.
"The fight of course." The king replies.
"Are you sure of this?" Potus replies.
"As you said, let's fight!" The king replies then tells them to fight the serpents.
They approaches the serpent. Potus is the first person who dashes forward and slashes a serpent. After some strikes, the serpent dies there.
The king brings a sword and sheath it out. He approaches a serpent then stabs it with his sword in it's head.
Emerald uses her bow and shoots double trang arrows to two serpents. The trang arrows works well and those serpents fall asleep. Potus takes care of the killing of those two.
The elves soldier invades four serpents with surrounding technique. The serpents can't move and the elves kill them.
There are only six serpents left to kill, but a thunderstorm comes and they can't continue the killing. They have to camp on the mountain.
The king and Potus sets up the camp with wood planks, ropes and other materials.
"Ummm.. May I ask something." Potus asks to the king.
"Yes?" The king replies.
"I haven't known your name earlier, what's your name?" Potus asks.
"Oh... My name is Hiffron. I'm sorry for not telling you earlier." The king replies with laughing.
"Nah... That's ok." Potus replies also with laughing.
Hiffron, Potus, Emerald and all elves soldier slept there in the night, but before that they make a campfire and light them up. They sing a song and have dinner together. What a good intimation.
They wake up in the morning.
"What a good sleep!" Potus says.
"It feels really good!" Emerald replies.
"Guys, we still have one mission, to kill the serpent." Hiffron says.
"Exactly!" Potus replies.
They prepare their equipments and walk into a cliff to take a look at those serpents. However, they don't see any serpent. This makes them worried.
"Where are the serpents?" Potus asks.
"I don't know. I'm getting worried now." Emerald says.
"Me too." Hiffron replies, then exclaims, "They may go to the village! We need to save our elves now!"
"You're right!" Potus says, "We need to get back quickly!"
They leave belongings there and run fast to the village and they see elves are running inside. They know that this is what the serpents do.
They go inside and see six big serpents in the fight and invasion. They're willing to save them. Potus and Emerald prepare their weapon like before and the king uses a sword, while the elves soldier a dagger. This is going to be an interesting fight.
Before the fight begins, Hiffron asks the elves villager to go out from the village and evacuate themselves.
"Everyone, go out from the village, now!" Hiffron shouts.
Everyone leaves the village and now it's the time to fight those serpents and show who's the boss!
Hiffron starts the fight by throwing his sword accurately to one of the serpent's head. The serpent bleeds then dies fast.
Potus and Emerald combine their power. Potus forms two swords in his hand then highly jumps and plunges to one of the serpents. Emerald helps him navigate and gives him higher movement speed and protection.
The elves soldiers don't do anything. They only protect the elves villagers to not die.
The serpent suddenly bites Emerald and it's poisonous and Emerald falls unconscious.
"No!" Potus says, "You don't deserve to life, serpent!"
Then Potus flies upward and plunges to the serpent and swings the blade heavily at it's head. The serpent dies.
Hiffron finishes all the remaining serpents and they're all now dead. The king regroups with Potus and sees him holding Emerald in both his hands.
"What happened?" Hiffron asks.
"Emerald.. Emerald was bitten by a serpent." Potus says crying.
"No way.. The poison is very dangerous!" Hiffron tells Potus, "There is only one way to save Emerald."
"But how?" Potus asks.
"I've ever heard a mystical lake that can cures and removes the poison. However, you need to face more obstacles. I can't help you." Hiffron says.
"Why not?" Potus asks.
"Because you're the elemental and the only one allowed to pass element borders." Hiffron says.
"Element borders?" Potus asks.
"Yes. This world is divided to lots of areas. The areas are divided according to the elements." Hiffron tells Potus.
"By the way, where is the Mystical Lake?" Potus asks.
"Not far from here. To the north, in the water element area." Hiffron says.
"Thank you for the information!" Potus thanks.
"But... You need to be quick to cure Emerald! Go now.. Don't mind us!" Hiffron says.
"Ok!" Potus replies.
Potus walks away with Emerald in his hands. He walks to the north, enters the forest, and finds the border. It looks like an aura border. When he goes near the border, a hole opens and he can pass through the border. The journey in the Water World has begun!
Chapter Four Ends. -
CHAPTER 5 : The Mysterious Man
After he enters the aura border, he finally reaches to the water world. He walks for a little and he arrives at the shoreline. He's surprised to see that there's only big seas out there waiting for him. Making his will strong to save Emerald, he approaches the seas.
Suddenly, a man with fins and gills comes out from the water. He's shocked when he sees Potus.
"Who are you? Are you the elemental?" The man asks.
"I am. My name is Potus. Nice to meet you. Who are you?" Potus answers and asks.
"I'm Nick. Nice to meet you too. Are you willing to save this world?" Nick asks.
"Saving this world? Probably not. But I can if you save my sister, Emerald from the poison." Potus answers.
"I can cure her, but help us." Nick replies.
"Ok. I will." Potus says.
"Ok. Close your eyes." Nick says.
Potus closes his eyes and feels that he's being dragged into a blue hole. After a few seconds, Potus awakes.
"Where am I?" Potus asks.
"You're in the deep sea, where water tribe people lives." Nick answers.
"How can I breathe underwater?" Potus asks.
"Because of your aura transforms you." Nick answers then continues, "Follow me and I'll cure Emerald."
Potus brings Emerald and Nick walks to an underwater rock house which is Nick's house. They enter it and Potus puts Emerald on a bed.
"I'll give her a potion." Nick says.
"Ok." Potus says.
Nick takes a potion from a shelf and then gives it to Emerald. After a few hours of waiting, Emerald wakes up.
"Where am I?" Emerald asks.
"Wow... Thanks Nick, it cures her." Potus tells Nick and then tells Emerald, "We're in the water world. Last time you are bitten by a serpent and got poisoned. I ask Nick to cure you."
"Thank you, brother for curing me." Emerald says.
"No. I do what I have to do." Potus clarifies.
"Now you have to help us. There are sea monsters that are willing to destroy our city. You must save us as an elemental." Nick tells Potus and Emerald.
"Ok. But where is it?" Potus says.
"Ok, follow me." Nick replies.
Potus, Emerald and Nick walk for about few miles until they reach the city. It's big, like a castle. There are guards down in front of the gate.
Nick approaches the guard.
"Open the gate. They're elementals."
The guard opens the gate and lets them in. Potus, Emerald and Nick walk inside and walk into the city hall. They enter it and go up the stairs. They arrive infront of the president of water city.
"Nick. What's with these humans?" The president asks loudly.
"Umm... They're elementals, sir." Nick answers.
"The elementals?!!" The president says then continues with a bow, "Well. My name is Fine. Nice to meet you, leader."
Confused, Potus asks Fine, "What's with the bow?"
"Umm.. Because you will save us." Fine answers.
"Ok. My name is Potus and this girl is my sister. Her name is Emerald." Potus says.
"Ok. Potus and Emerald. Nice to know you. May I ask something?" Fine says.
"Yes." Potus says.
"Will you kill those sea monsters?" Fine asks.
"I will, as my job is being elementals." Potus says.
"It's not a job!" Nick shouts then continues, "It's because you're the chosen."
"The chosen?" Emerald with a small voice asks.
"Yes." Nick answers.
"Let's see those sea monsters. We haven't seen them for a long time!" Fine tells them.
"Ok!" Potus says.
Fine leads them out of the city and goes west for few miles until they found those monsters.
"Here they are!" Fine says.
The sea monsters are big and long. Their jaws are sharp and can destroy metals. They're known as a boss of water world.
"Oh no! They aren't like this before!" Fine shouts, "They're thrice bigger!"
"Oh, no way." Nick continues.
"It seems fine for me." Potus says calmly.
"I don't know what to say." Emerald says.
However, when they examine those sea monster. Someone stabs Nick, but it doesn't kill him. Potus is shocked and shouts back.
"Who are you!" Potus asks.
"Hahahaha! You don't have to know, Elemental." The man says with laughing hardly, "I'll make you regret this."
Chapter Five Ends -
CHAPTER 6 : The Reveal
As Potus finishes saying. The man dashes forward and stabs Potus. He fails to dodge because of the man's extreme speed.
"Ahh!" Potus is hurt badly.
"That's what you'll get for!" The man says.
"Who are you!" Emerald asks loudly, "Why are you hurting my brother!"
"Your brother? Waa... So that elemental is your brother. That's amazing! So I'm going to hurt you too!" The man says arrogantly.
The man dashes to Emerald. However, Emerald's explosive trap catches him and he is knocked over at the ground. Emerald approaches him and asks.
"Who are you? Or I will kill you!" Emerald asks.
"I'm Aguri. I'm also an elemental." Aguri answers.
"An elemental? Then why you attack us? You supposed to be helping us saving the world!" Emerald asks.
"Ahahaha! I won't until I kill you!" Aguri answers arrogantly.
"Stop that, Aguri. If you're doing not what you must do, the darkness will kill you." Fine says.
"Kill me? Impossible!" Aguri says, "I'm strong and nobody will kill me!"
However, a sea monster catches his attention and gives a direct strike to him then escapes. The strike makes Aguri falls unconscious.
"We need to retreat now." Emerald says.
"Yes. Let's get back!" Fine says.
Emerald holds his brother, while Fine holds Aguri and Nick. They go back to the city hall and put them into the medical room.
Both Nick and Potus are given a treatment by Fine. However, Aguri isn't. Emerald asks for the reason.
"Why do you don't treat Aguri?" Emerald asks.
"He almost kills us and that's bad. We won't cure him." Fine answers.
"But that's ridiculous! He's also an elemental. Do you want to kill people so easily when you can cure them?" Emerald says.
"But.. But.." Fine replies, "Well, I guess you're right." At last, Fine then also treats Aguri.
The next day, an unpredictable thing happens. Those sea monsters attack the city and Potus, Nick and Aguri haven't woken up. It all leaves to Fine and Emerald.
"This is bad. They haven't woken up." Emerald says.
"You're right." Fine says.
"Now the city is counting on at us. We can't stay here doing nothing." Emerald tells Fine.
"I agree. Let's fight them with all power we've got." Fine replies.
"Let's go!" Emerald says.
Emerald and Fine come out from the city hall and see the city is being wrecked by the sea monsters. There are lots of them, maybe twenty to be eliminated.
Emerald forms her white bow and starts shooting the monster. As Emerald learns from before, her shoots are pretty accurate and weakens the monster. Emerald shoots types of arrows including torpedo and poisonous. Emerald kills four sea monsters in no time.
While Fine uses his sword to dual-wield. Fine has been known as his martial artist is amazing. Fine jumps to the sky and plunges to sea monsters. Fine actually makes them bleed to death. This time, Fine kills five of them.
"There are eleven of them and we need help." Fine says to Emerald.
"It's tiring, but you're right." Emerald says.
While in the City Hall Medical Room
Aguri wakes up from his sleep and is cured. He hears sound of snatching and roars outside. He runs quickly out of the city hall and sees the city is being damaged badly.
Aguri realises that what he have done to everyone is bad and he changes his life to what's right. He forms water gun torpedo to fight them.
While in Emerald and Fine's point of view
"Is that Aguri?" Emerald asks.
"It is. Does he support us?" Fine answers then asks.
"I think he does." Emerald says.
Aguri shoots down nine sea monsters in only few minutes with his multi-function water gun. The gun is very effective in the water with it's torpedo effect.
There are two sea monsters left. Emerald kills them with her bow and torpedo arrows. After that, they regroup with one another. Emerald asks Aguri.
"What makes you help us?"
"I realised what I do is wrong so I change my perception." Aguri says then continues, "I'm sorry for what I did before and I'll help you in your journey and my journey too."
"Ok..." Emerald says.
Then, Emerald whispers to Fine.
"See. I told you to treat him and now he's helping us. Don't be mean to someone!" Emerald whispers.
"Ok. That was my fault. I'm sorry." Fine whispers back.
Suddenly, Nick and Potus come out from the city hall running. They see Emerald then approaches her.
"What happened?" Nick asks.
"The sea monsters attacked, but we successfully defended." Emerald tells them.
"I'm sorry for that." Potus says.
"It's not your fault. You don't even injure yourself." Emerald says.
After few minutes, Emerald, Nick, Potus, Aguri and Fine meet in the city gate.
"Thank you for killing the sea monsters. The damage will be taken care by me." Fine thanks.
"Your welcome and I'll continue our journey." Potus says.
"Good luck!" Fine and Nick say together.
"I'll join you, guys!" Aguri says.
"Are you sure?" Emerald asks.
"I am!" Aguri answers.
"Ok then, let's go!" Potus replies.
"Bye Fine and Nick!" Emerald says.
"Bye bye!" Fine answers.
Emerald, Potus and Aguri use their power to get out of the water. This time, they enter the Fire World which is much hotter than water world and forest world. Hopefully, they do what they have to do.
Chapter Six Ends -
CHAPTER 7 : Re-Abound
Aguri, Potus and Emerald approaches the world border. They seem to be more energetic to save the world. Well then, they open the border and enter fire world.
"Wow, it's very hot here." Potus says.
"We're sweating and there's no shade to cool us!" Emerald replies.
"Maybe we can find some help here." Aguri says.
Aguri sees a creature on very far few. Aguri can't explain what's that creature because it's too far for his eyes.
"What's that?" Aguri points a creature.
"I don't know." Potus says then continues, "Why don't we check out?"
"Sure." Aguri says.
They walk closely to the creature. The creature looks like a clothed man with an orange tail. The creature has felt their presence and sees at them.
"Who are you? How can you enter the fire world?" The creature asks them.
"We're the elementals. Of course, we can pass through world borders." Potus answers.
"Oh! The elementals... We need a big help right now. My friends are separated one another and there are lots of monsters out there. I'm worried they can't survive!" The creature says.
"Wait.. Wait.. We will, but what's your name?" Potus says.
"I don't have a name." The creature replies.
Potus thinks for a little then continues.
"Why don't use Fiery?"
"I like that. Ok, call me with that name." Fiery replies.
"Ok, Fiery, where are your friends?" Potus asks.
"I don't know. We separate few hours ago and I don't know where they go." Fiery answers.
"Well, that's bad. Let's search for them then." Potus says.
"Sure." Fiery says. Everyone then follows Potus.
Potus walks aimlessly. He sees lava flows and active mountains which possible to erupt at any time. Finally, he sees a creature that looks like Fiery in afar, he thinks it's one of Fiery's friend. Everyone follows Potus running.
He runs to the creature.
"Hey!" Potus says.
"Who are you?" The creature says.
"I'm Potus." Potus answers with gasping then continues, "Are you a friend of Fiery?"
"Fiery? Who's that?" The creature asks.
"Oops.. I forget.. I mean the creature that looks like you." Potus clarifies.
"Yes, I am." The creature says.
Emerald, Aguri and Fiery arrive there.
"Hey!" Fiery says to his friend.
"Hi! You're here!" His friend says.
"Are you all right?" Fiery says.
"Of course I am." His friend says.
Potus intercepts the conversation with a fake cough.
"Ehm.. Ehm.. Ok.. Let's make it straight. Can I call you Rake?" Potus asks the creature.
"Rake? What a strange name, but yes you can." Rake replies then continues, "I still don't know what you are."
"Oh, I'm sorry for not presenting myself. I'm an elemental. These are my friends Emerald and Aguri, they're also an elemental either. I call your friend, Fiery." Potus says.
"Ok then." Rake says.
Suddenly a salamander monster goes near Aguri.
"Watch out!" Rake shouts. However, Aguri fails to dodge.
"Ah!" Aguri falls to the ground hurt.
"I'll make you regret monster!" Potus says.
Potus runs to the monster and gives a heavy slash to it's head. The salamander dies.
"Fiuh.. That was close!" Potus says.
Potus looks at Emerald holding Aguri.
"Aguri, are you OK?" Emerald asks.
"I am..." Aguri says with a heavy voice and stands up, "Ugh..."
"Aguri!" Potus shouts from afar and comes closer to him.
Fiery and Rake also come.
"Are you all right?" Rake says.
"Yes, I do." Aguri replies.
"We still have friends out there waiting for us." Fiery says.
"You're right. Let's search for them." Potus says.
Potus accompanies Aguri, Emerald, Fiery and Rake together walk to search for their friends, hoping that they're all safe and still alive.
Chapter Seven Ends -
And that's all I'VE written thus far.
Formatting may be a little f---ed, but any mistakes are just from porting from Word to here. Even the name changes in chapter two. Those are just the working names I had before settling on the REAL names.
And if I can be honest, I don't know why I wrote an entire chapter where I talk about MY characters aura colours and then never mentioned their aura colours again. I really thought I was going somewhere with that, but it just kinda petered out for no reason.
Also, f--- you Geek, you stole my idea. And someone else's far less brilliant idea. -
To be honest, this is way more well-written and structured than the story or stories that you're trying to satire. xD
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(It's not mine. I just changed the names.)
Yea, it has a couple problems, pacing and description mostly, but I kinda like it. There's an idea, and an attempt. If the author learnt to slow down a little and actually describe what things looked like beyond the bare minimum needed, it could be kinda decent. -
thief. u stole matmail's story.
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It's good that you're being honest.
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Matmail? Who's that? I got this from a friend. He said he's been working on it for a while now and wanted me to post it online so that he could get some criticism.
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Liar. I posted it here first. Well, what I post is only a small part of my book. I reduced the description and pacing like you stated above, my trick got ya.
In my real story, one chapter will be absolutely long, including some battle improves, time length, and some creatures introduction, or maybe other else.
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