The Story Of My Life
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:36pm
Thread Topic: The Story Of My Life
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Prologue
I stare at the grey hospital wall. How I got to this point is beyond me. Sure, I've been bullied most all my life but it wasn't that bad. But then I started telling myself stuff I shouldn't have. I began doubting myself.
I saw the knife and something just told me to do it.
It started out small, usually so my parents couldn't see the cuts. But as winter started to come closer, and I started to wear longer sleeves, I also started to make longer cuts. Deeper cuts. Not enough to do something rash. I wasn't ready for that. Just enough to make the pain go away. It's funny how we can find relief from some pains by making more pain. People are ill and in pain, so they get a painful injection to help them get better. I was in pain from all the words people said to me, so I dug a knife into my skin to make the words go away.
The doctors will look at my files and decide I'm crazy. That I'm to stay in the mental ward for the rest of my life. But I didn't do anything crazy. I did something smart, I think. I was so close to ending it. And now they've captured me and put me in a little grey room, like a child would take a grasshopper and put it in a container until it dies.The child thinks he is doing the grasshopper good, by giving it a home. But he isn't giving it a home, he's giving it a funereal.
I'm not getting better. I'm getting worse. Because, like a trapped grasshopper, I am here out of will. I did not choose to be plucked at and looked at. People are trying to figure out what is wrong with me, but I don't understand what is wrong with them. How can they take a girl who wanted to die, and try to save her from death. You can't fix broken glass. You can't try to give someone the will to live, if they want to die.
Maybe that's why they call me crazy. Because what else is there to say?
But if they had seen it from the beginning, if they could understand my pain, they would let me go. If they knew why I'm like this. If they knew why I turned to the blade as my last act of mercy.
Then they'd allow me freedom.
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