My Plot
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:35pm
Thread Topic: My Plot
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Okay so here's the plot:
In a far planet of Andromeda galaxy, an army of aliens have attacked. It was making the Protosepians of the planet extinct. The leader of the planet, ordered to fight until they die and to continue their species, he sent four Protosepians that were extremely beautiful and were males. While coming out of their andromeda galaxy, their ship was attacked by the enemies and had to land nearby planet. They landed on earth. While entering earth they got an extremely unbearable signal from their heart and they started having feelings. On earth they crashed near the Tri-State Area of UK (Imaginary area)...
Other part later -
They, as were protosepians, transformed themselves into humans, and became unreasonably handsome. On the other hand two friends (girls) were leaving where the Aliens have landed. They were shocked to see them and they explained to the girls and the girls promised to help them..(bye)
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(continuation)..first of al the four Non-Humans and the two Humans started finding a shelter. Suddemly, the saw a meteorite striking. One of the girls wished to ask for a wish but finding a shelter was more important. They made a house built of Trees in a forest. The girls leaved that place and the four guys stayed there. One(C3) of the guys just went roaming that place. One(C2) started to rebuild their spacecraft and the other two(C1 and C4) started hunting. Next morning the girls came and one of the guys (C3) accidently fell on one(C5) of the girls. The girl smiled and stared on the eyes of C3. C3's heart stoped beating and he can feel the warmth and he realized that he was in Love with her. He suddenly realized that he had to look for the meteorite and he left leaving behind those girls and boys. C1, C2, C4 and C6 started working on their space ship while C5 was dreaming about C3.
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Why would I use your plot when I have several of my own in my backlog?
ANYWAY!
Why was the army of aliens attacking?
What are Protosepians? Do you mean protosapians?
Who ordered the leader to fight to the death? Isn't he the highest authority? If everyone on the planet was prepared to fight to the death, why did they send out a ship to preserve their species?
If the idea was to preserve their race, why is EVERYONE MALE? What, do they procreate through splitting into two? I don't understand.
Why only four people? Why not thousands? Or millions?
How did he choose these four? Did they win a beauty pageant?
If they were attacked outside the Andromeda Galaxy, why was Earth the closest planet? Earth is more than 2.5 million lightyears away from the Andromeda Galaxy.
How did the enemy find them if the Andromeda Galaxy is over twice the size of the Milky Way? Wouldn't the sheer scale make it impossible?
Why don't you ever describe this enemy for us? If they're so important to the backstory, shouldn't there be more description than 'they're the bad guys?'
Why did no one notice them land on Earth, especially if their ship was damaged? There's no place on Earth that isn't currently view-able from satellite, much less things like airways.
Why does entering Earth give them emotions? Why didn't they have emotions before? Why didn't you mention that they didn't have emotions; that's a very important fact to forget.
If they crashed near a tristate area, why did no one notice them, again?
How did they transform themselves into humans?
Why were the two girls leaving where they landed? Wouldn't they be going towards the landing if they noticed it?
Why did the aliens bother disguising themselves if they were just going to reveal their true nature to the girls a second later? Why would the girls agree to help four random aliens for no reason?
Why would they need to find shelter if they crashed in the Tri-state area? Why not go back to one of the girls houses, or stay in the space ship?
Why is a meteorite?
Why is it important that she wished for, what appears to be, nothing? Does this play into anything at any point whatsoever? Why include it at all? Why are they looking for shelter?
Why did they build a house instead of simply going into town and renting a place? Or staying at the girls place, again? How does anyone even know how to build a treehouse? It would be the equivalent of you knowing how to sculpt a marble statue without a chisel.
Why does nobody have names? Surely it wouldn't kill you to go to, say, this place ( and hit random six times.
Why is C3 just wandering around? What's his reasoning? Didn't he just survive the entire annihilation of his race? Wait, is he actually insane from the realization and doesn't care anymore? That's kinda clever.
Why is C2 the only one to try to fix the spaceship? Why do C1 and C3 start hunting? If they're from a civilization that literally has faster than light travel, surely they could think of a better way to find food. Hell, how much food could you even find in the Tri-State area? Surely not enough to feed four people.
I don't really have any questions about this next part, but it's certainly stupid.
Why does C3 need to look for the meteorite? Why would he not tell any of the other aliens? Why would he go off on his own?
Why does C6 try to help repair the spaceship? Shouldn't the science behind how it works be so far beyond her understanding that it's meaningless? Or at least, literally world changing from a human perspective?
Why does C5 have time to lounge around? Surely there's something important she could be doing. Like, say, telling everyone that C3 is missing or changing history by being the first person to talk with an alien. -
omfg I can't stop laughing...duddee, Heads off to you, in my whole life I haven't asked that much question that you asked me in a few minutes...
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Answer to all your questions.
Because their f---ing leader made them into these b----es. And all these was written already...s--- -
Well, you gotta ask lots of questions when you're a writer, otherwise you end up with lots of plotholes and no verisimilitude. It also helps to flesh out the world and add a sense that we're only seeing a small part of a big world.
That's fine, I literally don't care if you swear or not. -
I will keep in mind. Thank You so much Ihloy...
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