Looking for suggestions on how to improve my story
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: Looking for suggestions on how to improve my story
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I recently rediscovered this old piece and wanted to revise it. Looking for suggestions if anyone would be so kind.
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I think it's an awesome story! I few grammar errors could be fixed, though. "Me" instead of "my" in the last story post, sixth paragraph. Braille needs to be capitalized. Imperium should be defined, Emperium is not a word. The first two paragraphs are kind of confusing. Perhaps they could be reorganized to make better sense? Also, the whole story seems to accelerate pretty quickly. Maybe it's just me, but I love details.
Aside from that, I think it's pretty awesome! Totally looking forward to the revised version! It has appeal, and I really like it!
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