A horrible story
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:30pm
Thread Topic: A horrible story
-
Hi, you remember me? Mommy and daddy, and our old house. I loved the elm outside my window. I sit under it sometimes and pretend I'm a jungle queen and have adventures. Then I come back inside and cuddle in bed and I'm safe.
My daddy draws buildings; he draws the inside of office buildings downtown. Right now he's drawing the lobby of the Dexter-Vasco... er- something building. It will be beautiful if it ever gets built. If I was going to work in a building, this is where I'd work. Daddy wanted to paint pictures for paperbacks, but he didn't. "because publishers are dumb" mommy says.
Sometimes when he thinks I'm asleep, daddy stabs his drawings with a pencil over and over and says bad things. -
Daddy always smells like a closet, with a lot of polished shoes and hats in it. Mommy is pretty, but she always says she's just a ditherbrain.
Mommy is really good at making sure things go right for daddy. She even lied to his boss one time so he could get a raise. But when daddy told us about it, she said that him talking about business made her head spin.
Daddy and I have a lot in common; bugs for instance. We're both scared of bugs. Daddy and I once sat by the door and watched a bug crawl around. Daddy tried to lead it to the door. When mommy came in and said dinner was ready, she looked down and said "uh-oh" and then stepped on it.
Mommy always does what has to be done. Something in her shuts off and she pretends it doesn't happen. I guess that's what being a mommy's all about. -
One day, I saw a bunny in the middle of the road. Squashed like a piece of clay. Like the clay I make my pretend houses out of. It was hurt; screaming. I didn't know bunnies could scream. But maybe I could make it better. Like when I fix my houses, after I smash them with a hammer. I took it home in a shoe box so it could be my friend. It doesn't scream anymore. But now all it does is look at me and wait.
...my stomach hurts.
Uncle Arty came to visit. Mom said he moved, but he just visited Australia and now he's back. He stays down the hall from me. Sometimes, he whistles. I guess I like him okay. Except when he makes too much noise when I'm watching Sunday cartoons. -
Sometimes I think he looks like my doll. Daddy likes to stand outside and talk with him for hours; to laugh with him. And then he leaves, just drives away. And then I'm alone. Alone with my friend.
The bunny is under my bed all the time now. He doesn't get better. It just makes this little scraping noise with it's good leg. I can hear it all the time now. Even when I'm in the yard, under my tree.
Nothing is fun anymore. All I can do is hear that noise. My stomach hurts. Then suddenly, it stops. I want to make it better, but I don't know how. -
I can't sleep. It's like the bunny is scraping right under my stomach. I'm mad at the bunny for being sick and bothering me! for being alive.
Daddy came in and asked to see bunny. When I showed him, he took the box and said he thinks bunny should live in the garage to get better.
They leave.. all I know is, I couldn't help the bunny. -
Mommy and daddy tried to talk to me about the bunny. They explained to me how the vet couldn't do anything. How the bunny just had to wait out in the garage until God came for him. They tell me how death is a natural part of life. After a while, I can't hear them anymore, and I can't hear the scraping in the garage. All I can hear is what I want.
Like the sound of the comb going through my dolls hair. The hair makes lots of noise. Nothing feels the same anymore.
Uncle Arty asked if I thought bunny was dead yet.. and then i broke my doll. I combed it's head right off. -
Daddy told me that he and mommy were worried about me. He said I shouldn't think about the bunny so much and that it would probably get better real soon. He promised.
Daddy can't lie nearly as good as mommy.
That night I heard mommy leave her room and go out to the garage. I followed her. I knew mommy would come, because mommy always fixes everything. That's why daddy leaves the important stuff to her. Because she takes care of it. -
Or makes it disappear... so we don't have to think about it.
And that's how our story ends. Not with a bang, or a whimper. But with the thwack of a shovel. -
I know that you said, "Horrible Story", but the way you took the part of a little girl was really interesting.
-
oh no
-
oh no?
-
yes oh no the poor bunny
-
That was good, I really liked the build up in the beginning- At first I thought the kid would turn out to be demented and do something like try to operate on the poor creature herself or something, or just hold on to the corpse for so long and snap when its taken away :P
All in all really good, the ending was expected but at the same time I expected a bizarre twist.I really like your writing
This thread is locked, therefore no new posts can be made.
