The legend of Shadow.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:25pm
Thread Topic: The legend of Shadow.
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~Prologue~
Long ago, every humans lived in peace. It was a time of rest, one many people never got to expirience. Because it all stopped when one men stood up, and forced others to work for him. Some followed him blidly, others fought. But those usually got killed. Rumors go he was a demon on earth. Truth is, that this was already hundreds of years ago. But his offspring still follows in his footsteps. They and his army are called 'the devil's army.' Not the most welcoming name, that's for sure.
I was born somewhere in the south of the world, in a village in the middle of nowhere. I had gone under the name of Rufus. Silly name, if you ask me. I used to be bullied by the other kids in town. I wasn't at all what i am today. I was a nervous wreck, always afraid something would happen to me. This stopped when the the devil's army reached our village. I don't remember much of that day. I have tried to forget everything. But i know that they all died. Our village didn't surrender. So they had to face their fate. I was the only one who survived. That was seven years ago. Having to survive alone made me stronger. I has to fight to live, work everyday for my food. I am now 17, and still haven't found a friend. Everyone i have come across has bad meanings. Not that i can't fight them off. But i haven't talked to anyone that doesn't want to kill me in seven years. I wonder why i haven't gone crazy already. But i have the feeling this is going to change soon. -
(I've already noticed a typo ^o^ sorry people!)
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~chapter 1~
Rufus was walking through the snow. It was cold, and he had no idea where he was going anyway. After a while he layed down in the snow. The sky was dark. Tiny snowflakes fell from the clouds. The snow he was laying in was cold. But there was no cave or anything nearby. He turned on his side and looked at the never ever ending horizon. He slowly closed his eyes. He felt sleepy, but he felt like moving on. Soon sleep won the battle. And he found himself dreaming. He saw a light in the distance and headed towards a light. That soon turned dark. He jumped in, and as abruptly as his dream started, it ended. He woke up and heard a voice. Rufus opend his eyes and saw a girl standing there. She was slim, and had snow white hair. Rufus quickly got up. The girl raised one of her eyebrows, and slightly tilted her had. "Why don't you sit down." She said. She didn't seem hostile, so Rufus sat down again. But he stayed alert. "What's your name?" The girl asked, sitting down as well. Rufus thought. He didn't want to be remembered of his past. "Shadow." He blurted out. Not realizing he would be called that from now on. "That's a strange name." The girl said. "Yeah, i am from uh... A tribe. My actual name is... Shadow in the night..." Rufus stuttered. "Uh-huh... I'll just call you shadow then. My name is Jasmine." The girl said. -
Shadow nodded. Jasmine. He repeated in his head a few times. "Why are you all the way out here on your own? Has your tribe been attacked?" Shadow shrugged. "Yes." Mine too. I guess we have that in common then." Shadow started to trust Jasmine more. "Are you hungry?" She asked. Shadow hesitated. He hadn't eaten for days... But shouldhe accept food from a random stranger? He finally decided to accept it. If he wouldn't eat now, he would probably starve to death. He nodded. Jasmine grabbed a fish, and threw it to him. "You could have just given it to me." Shadow mumbled. "Nah, i'm too lazy." Jasmine said with a smirk.
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(Good so far! )
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"Are you alone?" Shadow asked. "No, my friend Thomas is somewhere around here. He said he heard a sound or something." Shadow looked up. "Are you sure that that is smart?" He aked "He is a goofball, but he can survive on his own." Jasmine replied. "I meant if it is smart to split up." "Oh, of course." Jasmine mumbled unconfortable. "But there is nothing to worry about. Theres nothing around here anyway. And everything here is flat there isn't a single thing but us and the ground." She said smiling. "I hope so." Shadow said.
(Small chapters, sorry people) -
(Thanks Rave)
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(This is simply amazing. Do continue!)
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i will, but i will have to come up with some more for chap. 2 ^3^)
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~chapter 2~
Thomas walked around and suddenly saw a house. Who would wannt to live here? He thought. As he entered the house, he heard a strange sound. The same as he heard earlyer, but louder. Is was a rustling sound. There was someone or something here. Thomas looked around. Suddenly something jumped on him. He saw it coming and dodged. He looked at it and was surprised it was just a child. "What are you doing here." The child had short, brown hair and was lying on his back with his legs against the wall. He got up and said: "Better question, what are YOU doing here?" "Finding you i guess." "Why?" "Because i heard some sounds. What are you doing out here alone?" The kid's goofy face turned into a sad one and he didn't answer. Thomas felt unconfortable in the silence. "So... What's your name? I am Thomas." The kid quickly cheered up. "I'm paul." He replied. "I will call you paulie then." "Hey, want to play a game?" Paulie said exited. "What do you have in mind?" "Hide and seek!" "I've had enough hide and seek finding you. But i need to go back to my friend though. Maybe you can come with me?" Thomas suggested. "Yeah sure!" Paulie hopped up and followed Thomas. -
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Dang, girl. Looking back at the beginning of our rp... and then looking at things like this amazes me.
You've really improved.
I definitely think that you should indent every time someone says something, it's easier to read and looks neater. Also, it's more professional. More description would also be nice. Other than that, I love it! I like the way you changed the POV's and also transitioned nicely from calling
Rufus 'Rufus' and then switched smoothly to Shadow.
Keep going! -
(Thanks, lone! This means a lot to me )
Shadow And Jasmine were talking when Thomas came back with a strange figure. "I thought you only had one friend with you...?" "That's true." She replied. As the two came closer, Jasmine asked: "Who's this?" "This is paulie!" Thomas replied smiling. Paulie didn't seem to have a problem with what he called him, as some children would rather be called Paul in this situation. Jasmine sighed and rested her head on her handpalm. "Thomas, we can't just take strange kids with us." "And we can't take strange guys into our group either. You still haven't introduced me to your friend here." Jasmine sighed once more. "This is Shadow." Thomas looked at him. "Tribe?" He asked interested. shadow nodded slightly. -
"Interesting." Thomas whispered. "Which one?" "The southern polar tribe." Shadow quickly came up with. "I've heard of a northern one but i guess there will be a southern one too then. Otherwise it would just be called 'the polar tribe,' right?" Thomes grinned. "Yeah." Shadow replied. Not really knowing what to say. Jasmine smiled. "I think it's time we get going." She said. "Where?" Paulie asked. "The big city!" She said spreading her arms. "It's safe there, and we can get rich!" She almost yelled. "We can also get poor." Thomas said with a smirk. "We can't get more poor then this." Jasmine said back. Shadow was lost in thoughts when Jasmine asked: "You two want to come? Shadow? Paulie?" "Yeah!" Paulie yelled exitedly. Shadow was surprised. He thought for a moment. "Okay... I guess." He said, still shy for other people.
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"Well then, we mut hurry." Jasmine said. She got up and headed North. Shadow followed, but his mind was somewhere else, like always. "A big city, full of other people." He thought. "Hurry up!" Jasmine yelled, reminding him to keep up, because he was walking slowly. "Coming!" He yelled, and ran forward.
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