I don't know what to do about dating
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:35pm
Thread Topic: I don't know what to do about dating
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I feel like I just can't date. Or I can't imagine myself being with someone. I mean, I've imagined a future with maybe two people I've dated, of course. What it would be like to be with them forever.
But I don't know if reality will work out in the same way. I find it hard to imagine being with someone realistically.
I just don't know how to romance.
I'm so f---ed up from thinking about all the possible realities. Will I be with a man? Will I be with a woman? Will I be with someone who is trans? Or someone who doesn't identify as either gender? Would my family love and accept that person? I don't f---ing know. And it horrifies me.
If I were to ever meet with Mako-chan, I would love to be his dearest friend, unless love with others decides to s--- on us. Then I would want to steal Mako-chan for myself. I'll always adore him..
It's just hard to imagine how the future will turn out. No one can know what will happen, but it'd be nice to have a hint or two about it. Not just about who will share my future, but about my career or if I have children. It'd be nice to have a few ideas of the future... -
I don't think you should worry too much, Momo. If you've been able to see a future before, or at least envision one, you're likely to be able to have a future with someone. I mean, you're in college, right? You'll have plenty of time to think about it. I can't really offer much to you since all of my relationships have been short lived so far and I'm younger so I can't say too much, but I can say that you'll do fine. Don't be horrified- the point of the future is to figure it out later.
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I just want to know what to do, what to pursue. I would love to be with Mako-chan, but the distance kills me. And I could never ask him to wait on my slow ass forever. I already know I have four years at Western before I go to State. I don't know how long that will take.
But then there's that future of having my own children, which I might give up on simply because I hate being a female and I honestly don't think I have a healthy body type to have kids.
Then there's the thought of my family being unsupportive or rude towards Mako-chan if we were to unite.. Mom never would show it, but I can tell when she pretends to be nice about something, so it's unsure of what she'll be like. Dad is dad, I also think he'll keep his mouth shut simply because mom tells him to. I love my family and all their flaws and s---, but I couldn't stand to be around them if they didn't like Mako-chan..
I'm not the normal straight girl they wanted..
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