FWB help?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:35pm
Thread Topic: FWB help?
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Perwinkle1 ExperiencedI met a guy about a month ago. We really hit it off, went on a date the next day, and ended the night with some awesome sex. We have been sleeping together ever since. The whole time he was acting like he really liked me and like he wanted to eventually have a relationship. He told me to tell people we were talking and that we were exclusive (all his words, all out of the blue without prompt from me). Then, last night, he calls me and tells me we need to talk about what we want from "us". I say okay and go over to his place, worried because I was thinking that he wanted to be in a relationship when I'm not quite ready for that yet. I was surprised when the first thing he said to me was, "I think you like me more than I like you." He then went on to explain that he liked me, but he also had this crush on his coworker and wanted to pursue that. But he didn't want to give me up, so he wants to be FWB because that's similar to what we were already. I eventually tentatively agreed because I also do not wish to have a relationship right now, but I do want to be with him. I did find myself, however, extremely jealous of this girl from work. I let him know how I felt, and he didn't even care. I think he thinks that it should be comforting to me because it doesn't bother him that I'm jealous, but it bothers me that he would even think that it would be okay. After our conversation, I was too tired to drive back to my place so he said I could sleep at his place, which I was tentative to do but knew I shouldn't be driving so I agreed. We didn't have sex, he just cuddled me. The first thing he did when we got to his room was put his head in my lap when I sat down on the bed. I told him I thought that it was really affectionate for my definition of FWB, which is more "wam bam thank you ma'am" than it is cuddly. I didn't mean for him to stop, I just meant maybe we should talk about our definition of FWB, but he just moved off my lap to the other side of the bed. Since he likes to sleep on the very left of the bed, I have usually slept in the middle of the bed when at his place so we could cuddle. Since I felt cuddling was a little too much for FWB, I made my way to the very right side of the bed. After about a minute like that, he moved to the middle of the bed (which he does not like) and grabbed me so that we were in a spooning position. He eventually had to get up and turn his fan on because he got too hot, so I again made my way to the right side of the bed. He kept trying to cuddle, and I just let him because honestly I just wanted to sleep. He also showed other signs of affection, like kisses on the forehead or cheek. I left earlier than I usually do this morning, and when he went for a goodbye kiss I dipped my head down and gave him a quick hug. Then today, I began to think about it and started to realize that he was leading me on and that I was allowing it to happen. Because he was saying stuff about us dating and being exclusive, I was allowing myself to "prepare" for that. I realized that I liked him more than I thought I did. And, also, I just didn't think FWB were all that affectionate. Last night, he also said that before he met me he used to feel lonely a lot, and that he hasn't felt lonely since we have been together in whatever not-relationship this is. I just don't think his behavior is typical of FWB, and I don't know if I can just have sex with him and have it not mean anything if he wants to be cuddly and intimate with me. I don't think I can just sleep over at his apartment and watch Netflix. I don't even know if I could sleep over after sex. I would have to be extremely cut and dry, and I don't want that. I have never had a FWB. He's actually the only guy I have slept with multiple times. I just don't know what to do or say. Because honestly, I can't even be just friends because I like HIM. Yes, the sex is great, but he's great and that's what I like, not just the sex. Is his behavior normal behavior normal for FWB? Should I tell him that we can't be FWB? Or should I give it a try?
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I'll tell you what. Go talk to him about being FWB and let him know what you think about it and what he thinks about it. Thus, you can learn the perks of being a fwb and/or if you already know, well you'll know what he truly wants out of this Feb complication that you have with him. Nevertheless, if things go down hill from here on out, then turn the other cheek and look for a guy that truly wants you and not just your body. I don't know what answers you are looking for, but you have to look somewhere for it and I usually get mine from what my heart tells me.
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Perwinkle1 ExperiencedI think he wants as his backup tbh
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Answer yourself, do you truly want to be his backup?
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Perwinkle1 ExperiencedNo. And I already have plans to tell him that tonight. As much as it'll hurt because quite frankly I don't to be without him.
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