My vicious cycle
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:27pm
Thread Topic: My vicious cycle
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So my friend, for privacy I'll call him Fred, who is a senior this year, is one of the few people who actually make me feel better in this pit of depression. Now I've liked him since last year but there are two to three huge reasons why I can't tell him how I feel about him.
1. I'm not old enough. This is a respectable rule my mom has enforced to make sure I'm mature enough to handle a real relationship, not some stupid little not real relationship. Also, little kids aren't meant to date because that's just wrong and immature.
2. He has a girlfriend. I could never be that person to split a couple apart, it's just immoral to me. Not to mention that I know her and her brother and they are both the nicest people you could ever meet, and I just couldn't do that to them.
3. I'm a hypocrite. I prefer honesty in all relationships yet I'm scared to tell him, because I know I will be rejected and I have fear of rejection. And even if he didn't like and turned me down, I know for a fact that he would turn me down because of reason number two.
4. The possibility of destroying our friendship would literally kill me. He is someone who brings me out of my depression even for a little while. If I burn that bridge just for the sake of saying my feelings towards him I would probably dive even further into my unhappiness.
Now here is the reason why it's a vicious cycle.
Fred is always there for me when I'm down, he just naturally attracts to my sad self and helps me up. Then I'm all happy and I go to him instead of him coming to me. Now I've noticed a pattern when I go after guys. They naturally avoid me at any and all costs. So, I let him be and then I sink back down. Thus continuing the cycle.
Now Fred is that kind of person who is comfortable with touching, in the way of hugging and messing around, not perverted. I've never had a friend like that and it gives me so much false hope that it drives me crazy. I like him for the way he is, but I can't have him, and it decimates me. -
For one, how old are you?
I'd say just give this time. You could be friends for now, but you never know what could happen someday ~ ^-^ -
I'm 15, he's 17 or 18 not real positive on that
I've given it so much time, I could be counted as a timelord. But he's been with this girl for over three years, they are the cutest couple in the world, and I'm just the loner in the corner staring wistfully after him. Yes, I'm feeling sad for myself, but I'm not in the mood to care about that. He is one of the best things that has happened to me, and I can't tell him how much he means to me.
I appreciate your helpfulness, but please don't be so happy. I'm to pitiful it just makes me hateful. Sorry for my brashness and attitude -
Um ok....
(Is this good?) -
Just no faces please. Best thing about the internet is that I don't have to see your reaction to what I say or do.
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Oh ok
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It's ok I don't blame you
I get like this when I'm upset or tired -
I would say just be happy with your relationship as it is. If he is someone who makes you happy when everything else is shattered, I'd just go ahead and call that a win.
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Any advice on the matter on how I can deal with this in the mean time.
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I'm really sorry, that stinks. Because I'm only 13, I can't really help that much, but I would say don't give up. Maybe he'll help you out of your depression. I know it sounds ridiculous, but trust me, some people can solve stuff like that. So I would say wait and see how his relationship goes with his gf, and in the meantime, let him know how much he means to you. Even only as a friend. Sorry if this doesn't help.
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I'll let you know how it goes, thanks Lucky
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Any time. Glad I could try to help.
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