DON'T TOUCH MY DOG (part 2) | Comments

Tyler's hot and British, oh my goodness, he can't be that perfect can he? *drools* haha, I like Sara's reaction XP

Anyway, to the story critique. The spelling and grammar on this part was an improvement from the first. I get that you're typing on an Ipad (that is straining, I can barely even make myself write a comment when I'm typing on a touch screen). I think that the overall feel of the story could be racheted up a level if you paid a little more attention to capitalization and commas.

Building off of BN's comment, I thought the way you portrayed the "dork/nerd/geek" was unfair as well. Mostly it's because I dislike stereotypes and labels, and "I" shouted something random at him to shoot him down then turned around and ogled a hot guy (granted Tyler seems like a niiice guy). As for realism, I don't see any major flaw there as it's to be kept in mind that Tyler is new to the school.

I don't quite know where you're going with this story as the title doesn't give many hints (lol), so I'm wondering, is this going to be a realistic story or supernatural or... what genre? Just curious :)

Can you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE spell check? Sorry, I'm kind of a Grammer Natzi, and text talk is one of my pet peeves. You don't even have to reread it, just google 'spell check' and copy+paste into the program. Anyway, back to reviewing the story.(P.S., you were one of the people I thought was unicorn. Why did I guess that? The text talk. And yes, I did read this before.)

It's a little clich, but it's the beginning, so I guess I can't judge it that much.

I was a little offended by part one. I find dorks more attractive than hot guys, as long as they're a little cute. And geeks can be cute. The most popular girl in my school is a geek. And almost every guy in the school has had a crush on her at some point. While writing the story, I kind of feel that that you expected everyone to think what you thought, and everyone's opinion was the same. That they either love it or not. Take Justin Bieber for example. Alot of people love him. Alot of people hate him. But me, I kind of like him but I'm not a Bieliber at ALL.

Kay, part 2. A little unrealistic, that a guy would accept to sit with a random girl that he talked to for a minute, let alone the 'hottest guy in the world'. He'd get to know her a little then slowly but causually join her group of friends.

All in all, good for a first piece of writing, but I'll continue reading and looking for improvement in your writing. Kay, BN out.

Hot AND British?! ^-^ anywho, when are you gonna make part 3?