a series of dad jokes in the form of a story

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I just got home from work so sorry 😐 didn’t wanna go much time and you have snap back at us so when y’all are done ✅ I’ll make you wanna the morning is so good day and I’ll be back home by the

I don’t want you guys in my life that I’m going home and I’m not gonna day time to go home and I’ll go home to the shower so I’ll be there tomorrow and I’ll just call y’all when

Created by: redoro
  1. Today was going to be a horrible day, I could already tell. As a sleep deprived teenager, one thing that never fails to amaze me is how I manage to stay happy despite never being able to sleep. Today, though, I was not in that mood. After waking up from a ten minute sleep with a throbbing headache, I walked downstairs to the kitchen where my father stood in his casual business attire with a cup of coffee in his hand. “I’m hungry.” The statement was to myself, but my father responded with such happiness- “Hi hungry, I’m dad.”
  2. The droll stare I gave him was enough to cease his laughter as he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Your mother is at the store right now, but there’s leftover pasta on the stove.” Grabbing a plate from the cupboard, I went over to the stove and scooped the pasta onto it before roughly sitting it down on the table. Inevitably, a noodle bounced off the plate and onto my fathers, who screamed out in fright “Oh no, it’s an impasta!”
  3. My father cleared his throat once more before picking up the newspaper, that he reads for some reason even tho it’s 2018 and they rly don’t exist anymore. “Hey, Summersberry Newton Barhandle III, want to hear a joke about the paper?” Before I could say no, he responded, “never mind, it’s tearable.
  4. Before I could respond, my six year old sister, Carl, came running down the stairs with her shoes in her hand. “Can you put my shoes on?” She asked him, smiling. “I don’t think they’ll fit me.” He said, once again laughing like a drugged hyena.
  5. “That’s it!” I screamed before grabbing a gun from the rose bush outside my kitchen window and shooting myself with it. Goodbye.
  6. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  7. Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
  8. What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos
  9. what did Batman say to robin before getting in the car? Get in the car
  10. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
  11. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.

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