paranormal me part 1 | Comments

A mix of Paranormal Love and Teenage Chronicle sounds way cool. However, I do have some constructive critisism for you.

*If I didn't create Paranormal Love and read Teenage Cronicle, then I would've had no idea who you were talking about. You introduced all the characters at once and didn't describe them either.

*Okay, so what you basically did was explain some of the plot of Paranormal Love and Teenage Chronicle rather than tell a story. Instead, I would reccomend you create some type of scenareio such as maybe Bryan and _____ kinda have a thing going on and he asks her out on a date, making the other guys jealous. Maybe one of the guys decides to do something about it. Just an idea.

*When someone is talking, use "" not ()
*Text talk kills stories. Use "you" not "u".

*Are we talking about my Chris here? His name is spelled C-H-R-I-S. I know I don't like it when people spell my name wrong and I'm sure Chris doesn't either. If this isn't my Chris and just someone with a simalar name... my apologies. I really hope I don't sound like a jerk. I'm not trying to be one. >.>

Its has a good foundation, but you NEED to make sure you sorely things out! Like 'you' instead of 'u' and stuff. Also, when people are talking, "you use these" (not these) apply this in hour story and it will be 10 stars! Also try to explain things a little more, like the guys and who they are.

Right I agree 100% with Twisted_Roots and you could also describe how they look and details about them please and spelling needs a bit of work as well

cool story, i really liked paranormal love and teenage chronicle... i wish teenage chronicle would come out faster

Nice that was great