Is Your Character a Mary Sue? | Comments

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  • I got 17%.

    This story is hard sci-fi with real science and no FTL.

    In the story, "WARFORM", Kyle has his brain frozen in the late 2020s and gets woken up thousands of years later, as an artificial intelligence in control of a warform.

    Humanity has been in a war of extermination with an alien civilization for the last 460 years, and humans are losing. The frontlines are now deep into human territory, with the Taust system being contested by the warforms.

    The warforms are massive starships equipped with an AI, each of them lobotomized versions of the OG Kyle (referred to in the story as Alpha-Kyle). The beta-Kyles have massive computing power, no self-preservation, no morals, and total obedience to the State. But they lack that *spark* that an unmodified upload of alpha-Kyle would have.

    That's where the main character, gamma-Kyle comes in. He fights with the inscrutable alien fleets in strategic, hard sci-fi battles, until he makes an unusual friend...

    WARFORM guy
    2
  • The fact that I made an somewhat immortal skeleton that good punished for robbing a tomb and got 11% on being a Mary Sue...This is why I like using dnd classes as a guide to make characters.

    This is btw what I sent my DM as a backstory.

    Born in the desert, raised in a working class family of glass makers. Wanted to get rich and joined a group of tomb breakers, the used to sold the riches outside of the Desert to wealthy people. Fell in love with one wealthy duke's daughter Eliza Jane Troodey, (they had a son he doesn't know that) Her father did not approve for his daughter to marry a thief. Her father then send his men to chase of Eick. He returned back to the Desert. He became pretty good at breaking into tombs so once he and his group tried to rob a secret tomb of Rar'ghidar. But once they were on their way out, just when the rest of his team with the treasure were in the last corridor, Aick slipped and stepped on a trap and fell into a pit. The rest of the Red toads (the thief group) got out leaving Eick stuck in the tomb. He later died of dehydration. Only to be brought back to life as a skeleton by the lich like creature to who was the tomb sacred to and who was living in it. He was cursed to walk the earth as an skeleton till the end of times. He then roamed the tomb until he found Cream the spider-lizard goat. In the end he got out. It took some time until he realised 40 years passed since he died. He roamed the tomb of 40 years. He did assimilate, thanks to a blind wizard Alban, who thought him some spells to hide his appearance. Eick never told him he was a skeleton. (Alban is still alive) Eick ended up being a guide for travelling merchants in the desert. Sometimes he would steal bits of stuff that the merchants were trying to transport. Usually they let it slip because the fear of being without a guide in the desert was a bigger problem than a lost gold necklace or two. Well until he tried to steal a ruby ring, the merchants crew beated the s--- out of

    RoseWasHere
    1
    • It cut of a bit so...

      Well until he tried to steal a ruby ring, the merchants crew beated the s--- out of him. He woke up some time later having no clue how he got there. He got back into the City only to be told by a stranger than he lost his job as a guide. (Every time he "dies" he wake up a day later not remembering something - can be last month or what he did for 20 years. So technically the more he dies the less he remembers.) So he now doesn't remember a year of working for a desert guide guild. He also died once when he washed his clothes at night and a group of adventurers broke him up into a pile of bones. He again woke up day later having no clue where he hid Cream. He eventually found her! But he also found a bard having a good time... So now Aick has a no longer virgin spider-goat and a drum. He is currently looking for a group who will help him find a way to rid himself of the curse and finally go to enternal sleep. Also he is looking for his old fellow thiefs of the Red toads. (Now 60-80 y.o. gentlemen) to do a little bit of mischief and scare them from beyond the grave.

      RoseWasHere
      1
  • Did that on Clestin: a little wizard whos really terrible at magic (and will stay like that). He is blonde, wearing normal clothes. Hes french (Im french, the story is set up in France), have super kind parents, hes 13 (3 years younger than me) have no trauma, is not involved in any prophecies. His clumsiness is actually the reason of the plot of my whole story: doing a time spell instead of another (I havent thought of what spell it should be) and yeah, thats pretty much the character ! Got a 17%

    Ricardodiepie
    1
  • I got 18%. My oc is a teenage girl named Sonya Clifford. Her past used to be perfect until her stepbrother got killed while they were on a family trip. They never found the culprit for the murder. Her stepdad left the family and her mother got depressed by this. When she became 17 years old she moved into her own house with her butler. Now she has an unhealthy obsession trying to find the killer of her stepbrother and she shuts everyone elses out of her life. And no she doesnt have powers, shes just a cold and bratty but still lowkey intelligent teenage girl.

    Yamoo69
    2
  • I got 19%

    My oc is named Sochii, who is a demigod. She has selective memory, and doesn't remember too much about her childhood, so she tries not to think about it. Since she was born a demigod, she was born with a single power: anything she draws comes to life, but usually the drawing fades away after a little while. While she can be a bit strange and scare people with her strangeness, once you know her she's a nice girl who tries her best to bring out the good in others. (She's honestly my Minecraft skin with a backstory.)

    SochiiQuiz
    1
  • I got 19% so let me explain her.

    Her name is Shoga Black. She is a MHA fan character and one of the villains from the LOV.

    Her quirk is animal shifting, she can turn into any animal she wants. Although it is werewolf-ified and has to have red and black colors. She is very close with Toga because I simp for Toga but they aren't together until very far into the story. She is 6'8 and is very very VERY muscular. But she is not abnormally strong besides punching and scratching with her claws. She takes into the form of a werewolf most often btw.

    For a long time she seems to be mute and doesn't like to communicate verbally. When she does talk she has a very deep, gravely, Corpse like voice. Her main purpose in the story is to fight alongside Toga and Twice. And if you know, get revenge on Hawks for what he did.

    She uses He/She pronouns, is Bi Gender, a Lesbian, and for the most part loves people and is very extroverted. She loves kids and small animals. She admires the thought of having kids and being a mother. She admires old people unless they are rude and mean.

    Etc. She ran away from America and came to Japan to be completely isolated form anyone who knew her. She has many scars, 2 of which came from Toga's admiration for her love of blood, since myself have a love of blood (It was never related to Toga, just a fun coincidence).

    If anyone has further questions or add-ons I'd love to hear them! Thanks for listening to me!

    MooseOnVenus
    2
    • I was really curious why Shoga ran away from America!

      Another question: can Shoga turn into a hedgehog? :D I bet they'd look like Shadow and that would just be the coolest!

      Damien Williams
      1
  • Heyy

    Im not sure if you answer all comments but anyway ^^

    This is a persona for a role play, I got 20% but I just thought i could use your expertise.

    Long story short :

    Her name is Alixe Kim, but she goes by X (TEN, in Roman numbers) and she is part of a gang and has to hide her real identity. She is the sister of the leader of the gang,shes younger by 4 years. They both grew up with their parents until X was about 8yo. Her father was betting and played a lot so he made loads of debts in a casino, bad luck the casino was owned by the mafia. To pay up, he started working for the mafia. Xs mother left because the father was messing up to much, leaving her children behind as she also wanted to be with another man. X will never forgive her.

    Later on when X was 12yo, her dad got shot during a deal, but he still owned some money. The mafia sent the kids to a sort of foster mom that worked for them so that they would still pay up the bills (mules under 18yo are much appreciated). Through the years, X and her brother made their way in the gang so that at the end of their 20s brother was the gangs leader and X a important element.

    X has a great upper body strength as she trained a lot for the gang, she is a gymnast. She can also use guns etc but she is better at messing with ppls mind. She lies a lot, defrauds, use her feminine charms etc She is a very good dealer thanks to this. She also has a hot temper and is easily started when someone delays in payment. She seems to enjoy herself in criminal activities but deep down she feels empty and unsatisfied with her life.

    She also has a boyfriend, part of the gang, who is a jerk but doesnt mistreat her. Just a macho dude who cheats kinda often, she will dump him at some point.

    Opinions ?? Xxx
    thanks !

    luxury_swcheppes
    2
  • My character is Theresa Rachel Stark and is an MCU OC. She looks usual(brown eyes, brown hair, tan skin). She has been abused by foster parent after foster parent and is suicidal. She is Iron Man's little sister and was abused by her original family also(mainy her father Howard). One day, she was at one of her first abusive homes, and an assasin came, telling her that she was a friend of the mans. The assasin then killed him, but caught a glimpse of the fresh scars that ran down Theresa's back. Assasin took the child and gave her a happy couple of months. Theresa was found and but back in the foster system, saying her name was Tessa(the assasin's nickname for her) Michelle(the assasin's name) Howard(that nae was familiar). Fast forward until it is her two year anniversary with her one good foster parent, when she has a flashback to her childhood(before any foster parents) and sees her brother. She goes home after school and there's Tony Stark, talking to her foste parent.

    She doesn't know that she has a superpower, given to her by way of a botched super soldier serum that her father gave her. The serum gave her a healing power that forces her to take on someones injuries if she has skin-on-skin contact. I got 19%

    FandomTrash3456
    2
  • I got 10% out of a traumatized charcater who does things wrong all the time and is not excused for it- weird. I thought that was normal. There's also the antisocial-ness and average appearance. She would be pretty not in-world but pretty much everyone looks like her besides eye colour so I can't really say much on appearance since she's average at best. There's also the whole magic explosion that killed a ton of people thing and being adopted by someone who was supposed to kill her which is pretty cliche. Also somehow got mastery over her powers, albeit she had a "tutor," in a short amount of time. Then there's the dictator thing and oh my god she's weird.

    iam_enti
    2
    • my charecter was just a lazy college student who was accedenty left behind at a gas sation on earth and he got 15%

      foodie
      2
    • @iam_enti PLEASE tell us about the explosion, the murderer adopters, or the dictator. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

      Damien Williams
      1
  • I got a 19%. I dont know if I'm satisfied because my character DOES technically have a mental disorder, (PTSD) and eventually goes on a murderous rampage. These actions are not excused though because, while in a violent state, he is in complete control and is not excused for this. (At the end of his arc, he kills himself because he knows that he is too dangerous. Plus, he had seen and heard all of what he needed to.) Yes, he has a tragic backstory, (of basically surviving a nuking in his country/town that he used to live in) but it is used to give context to his PTSD and thus why he has sort of a... racist/violent additude towards the race that nuked the place. (I keep this very vague because of future reason's) Now, he technically isn't like this during most of the episodes. (Again, vague.) Normally, he's a kind, silly person that has an old timey sense of humor. (Mainly because he's a 1930's cartoon character that happens to live in a world with MANY other things.) But I feel that the quiz could use more options to show my character more.

    Irish Jevil
    2
  • Ooo, this was fun! I got 23%- I understand it, honestly. I usually don't use her as a MAIN main character but just as a character for my fanfics of others for a certain scenario (a host of a room, kind of)- but her backstory itself is generally very mary sue-ish. Now she's just kind of a servant though

    Dumbiev32
    2
  • 27% isnt horrible, but I havent built her up as a character much yet, so theres definitely room for improvement. My Ocs name is Shyntdira Tekenurden and she was created when I started reading the Legend of Drizzt series, so naturally shes a dark elf. Instead of her eyes being red or purple, she has green eyes with subtle gold flecks (I hope its not too Mary Sue-ish) and she is a young priestess from one of the top ten most powerful houses in a neighboring Drow city, Ched-Nasad. Her personality aligns more with the followers of Eilistraee than of Lolth. Im still working on her though.

    Styx And Tryx
    1
  • 31%, I understand lol.

    My character is a fan character of voltron. He is currently unnamed, and older than me (16-17). He's supposed to be a garla, altean mix. His backstory is,

    he was a young boy in a village on a mythical planet, he lived with his parents (who soon die of natural causes), and was always visited by his 4 friends and cousin. Him and them built ships with a weak black void magic, to power them. (I planned that his planet had the weaker version of the void magic than the lions.) But was a total fail due to their planets weak resources, also causing the black void to break out. (In voltron a villan consumes the void, causing him to become evil.) They consume or suppose take in the void magic giving them powers, like; speed, teleporting, transforming, reading minds, holographic. But the unnamed character takes in more (or since he's the leader, his ship took more magic.) Giving him; Shields, lightning, transforming, use of meteorites, and a teleporting power. But he never uses them unless they're in great danger, he usually uses a garla sword and altean sword. He also wears a hooded cape, as he has trust issues to people using him for his powers. (Trusts his friends and cousin though.) He, and his team(friends, cousin) meet voltron during a fight with the main villan, deciding to help them. They follow voltron in their own remade ship. The unnamed character only uses his powers during the altean portal, and 2 big fights with the main villan. Then proceeds to show his face when they get back to earth.

    I do sometimes when listening to music, pretend I'm him during his fights lol. I don't write about him, no no! I just wanted to make a voltron OC with some of my friends and cousin joining in.

    HidashiX
    1
    • his weakness is darkness, as he is sorta a light powered guy. He's afraid of the dark, so he refuses to use his powers if he can't see, naturally, because he doesn't want to accidentally hurting his friends, and just plain scared of what's in the dark. His limitations, he can't use his powers for long, which is sorta why he doesn't use his powers a lot. But if he really needed too, he can take energy out of things around him, but it just causes him to be even more restless/weaker

      after till he fully heals.

      HidashiX
      1
  • My OC is Ben, a subject to a scientific genetic experiment that caused strange abilities in all the recipients. He has an appearance that makes him stick out like a sore thumb (silver skin like the silver surfer). He struggles to accept his new self and his strange abilities don't make it any easier. He's kind of a klutz that ends up taking his way through most situations. He got a 33%. Is that bad?

    Andromedaes
    1
    • I think he's balanced pretty well, unless he's immortal. A 33% isn't bad, it's actually quite good. It depends on how far his abilities go, and how popular he becomes due to his appearance, positive, or negatively. I feel like he wouldn't be a gary sue, but what do I know?

      eliotyohei
      0
  • A got a 14%! I guess I could really spice the character up a bit :)

    My character's name is Aquila (Eagle from latin). Her kind has the same physique as humans, except light green skin and two heads (her name is a pun, referencing the double-headed eagles on most European coat-of-arms). She was born to a poor family in a small town, and was orphaned at 5. She roamed around for a few years begging for food, until she was picked up by some bandits. She grew up with them, and eventually started pillaging with them. She became very good at melee combat because of being left handed (which in real life gives a lot of advantage in a sword-fight). At the age of 20 she left the band, and became a mercenary. At the beggining of the story itself she and her 2 friends work at a bar in a random god-forsaken town, and essentually protect it from other bandits in exchange for staying rent-free at the second floor of the building. They still need to get money however, and so they take stereotypical adventure quests from strangers that end up going through that bar. The story is for an animated series in the making, and every episode will be a different mini-adventure, kind of like Rick and Morty in terms of length.

    There is also a special way members of Aquila's race grow up:

    In adults, both heads have polar-opposite personalities, but despite that are more or less in sync. They have 1 will and mind however, and balance eachother out. Every adult has 1 dominant head, which ends up defining in which direction the personality goes. That head can talk, while the secondary head is mute for life. Despite the main head making the decisions, the second head always has influence over it.

    When they are born, both heads are mute. As the child grows, both heads develop those polar personalities, and eventually, based on the decisions and unbringing,one of the heads becomes the dominant one and gains the ability to speak, roughly at the age of 12.

    In Aquila's case, the main head is selfish, smu

    Tax
    1
  • got a 40 percent

    she is a demon slayer fanfic character she is a daughter of the main villain and hates the fact that her mother was very naives because that had resulted into her mother's death she basically is there to help tanjiro complet some of the missions they go on together but has many flaws and is pretty forgetful her hair is white and she has a gold eye from her mom and red from her dad.

    her mom is a high ranked mage so there was some inheritance of her mothers power and because she is the daughter of the main villain she also inherited some demonic abilities

    does anyone thing she is overpowered because I really don't know

    also sorry about no grammer

    LunaChan101
    2
  • 15%

    Well, that's better than I expected, to be honest, even if I did work very hard on this kid.

    My OC is a sixteen-year-old boy named Rayven, yeah, I know, sounds cliche and like everything else, I'll admit, when I got the idea for him I didn't hardly know ANYTHING.

    Rayven's mother owns and teaches a dojo, and as such he is superb in that area.

    His story begins after a doctor's appointment, Rayven's got some extreme mental problems, and these come up later.

    As he likes to hike, he goes on one, and stumbles across a book. Yeah, a book, it's a magical book, but he doesn't know that.

    His blood is spilled across the pages, and with a jerk, he's transported to a new world.

    Because I was only 12 when I made this world, it's called Fallfay, and now I'm too attached to the name to change it.

    Obviously, he's freaked the heck out, but he's found by a elven girl named Airlia.

    Wait, elven?

    Well now, this world is WAY different from what he expected, if he had been expecting to be transported to a magical world at all (he wasn't).

    After two months with her family, he finally decides he has to get back to his mother, and his little sister Rosie, knowing they'd probably be better off without him but not really caring.

    The girl, Airlia, goes with him when he finally gets up enough courage to seek out the three magical pendants, that, if combined, will create a portal back to his own world, along the way, they meet another elf, a boy named Soren, and the three of them become a wonderful team.

    However, not all is as it seems, (obviously) and Rayven comes to realize that although he had no meaning to, he made it all about himself. But he also comes to realize that the new, beautiful world where he actually feels he belongs to, is harboring a dark threat.

    The tyrant King Madro is twice his match, and the three friends soon come to realize that not all evil can be conquered.

    JJBTS127
    2
  • I really like this test! I am an aspiring writer myself and I often do this test to see if my original/fan character is a very sue, since I really like making them OP and with generally bad family backgrounds. It's very useful since I often can't judge my own characters objectively, or is suspecting that I'm judging them too subjectively even if I'm right. This test is easy to do and offers me a simple overview of my character as I do it. So it really helped me out. Thanks a lot!

    bubblebellarina
    1
  • Did my character, Renata, and got 24%.

    She isnt exactly a Mary Sue in her appearance, in fact she looks like a total girl failure. Shes just some human scientist that used to be all evil until she found her true love and soulmate. Not gonna lie, Im pretty sure this test just didnt ask very specific questions related to my original character.

    ahaaeon
    1
    • I love girl failures, tbh theyre rlly cute. Also I love science! Does she have like deep lore? If you wanna talk about her lore with me, Id listen very eagerly (I am a very big fan of villains that know science)

      slayfullynessa
      1
  • Pretty nice 22%

    Might as well leave a lil summary for my oc haha! He's an MHA oc, 19 years old, and a sidekick. He has a very powerful healing quirk, which can even bring people back from death of its been led than 5 minutes. (Inspired by the work my mom does as a first responder) His power comes with a big drawback, though. It rapidly drains his energy, in a way that can be fatal. Idk how it will happen yet, but I'm planning for him to be attacked by a villain (cuz what else are you gonna do but beat the s--- out of the healer yk?) Since he isn't great for fighting, he ends up losing and getting a kick ass scar, because they are fun to draw and I have my own scars... Like me, he hates feeling powerless more than anything. And for s---s and giggles I made him 6'2 and gave him the most snatched waist ever lmao

    Fawncat
    2
  • I got a 27% for my OC Emmra Drop.(her story is actually based off of a role play I was apart of) she was born into a cultist like religion. she serves as a spy for her colony. after a few missions she realizes how different the colony's lives are compared to the other places she was seeing, she started to want to leave the community she was in and join the others. there was two options, leave now and be searched/hunted for by her community or wait till her next mission and despair seamlessly without a trace. she's impatient and decides to leave right now, she was being hunted and searched for she hided in a small cave to hopefully escape the search party's and then met another person hiding named lunar, he was hiding because they were being hunted down as a ritual sacrifice. (lunar is not Emmra Drops love interest) a lot happens and at the end Emmra did not have a good ending so to say but on the bright side lunar returned safely to his family so yay ?

    sum more info:
    19yo
    5''8
    likes journaling & drawing & singing
    is not really good at drawing
    ex best friend is named willow

    idkhonestlyy101
    1
  • Got 22% for my oc named Asuka Amaha. She gets abused by her parents and is a demon. She has black eye whites and red eyes and white hair with indigo on the bottom (not from hair dye) she wears comfy clothing and is a Demi girl and a lesbian. She has a girlfriend, and is lazy but is a kind person that would risk their life to save a person they just met, shes kinda chubby but its not overweight.

    BoredWeeb999
    1
  • Actually see him unravel through the writing. He's a character I put hours of research into and developed for years to give him depth, I just hope it wasn't all for naught. Edgy as he may be, he's not that far off from many big name stars we know today, be they from our generation, or many since passed.

    RocketQueen
    2
  • My OC got 23%. I honestly didn't know how to answer some of the questions, as the way my story works is a bit of a special case compared to the answers given. For one, my story, in a way, deliberately uses tropes such as "karma for the antagonist" or "edgy for the sake of being edgy" as plot points, as my oc, who is technically too morally gray to be considered good or bad, starts to become self-aware and realize the one-dimensionality of his world, and that's what drives the plot forward. I would really like some genuine feedback for my story, but I'm a bit unsure on how to explain it thoroughly, as it's pretty long.

    TerraIzzy
    1
  • Yeet. Kaydia Winterwood, she lives in mid-evil times and was an orphan since the start after her mother overdosed and her father was just some rando. She has terrible memory like, sure she's not Dory, but it's still pretty bad. She was one of a few orphans from the orphanage that survived after the 'Dragon Flayers', eight warriors said to defend the 'Last Ones' against dragons. She's 18 percent sue, and I have no idea why... sure she's not incredibly pretty, and she's asexual, but love is hardly important. My opinion anyway.

    Valerian
    1

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