Jokes
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:13pm
Thread Topic: Jokes
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Jesus is dying on the cross, and Peter is down the hill comforting Mary Magdalene when he hears Jesus' faint voice, "Peter. . . Peter. . ."
"I must go and help my Savior," he said and went up the hill, only to be beaten and kicked back down by the Roman centurions guarding the cross. But soon he hears, "Peter. . . Peter," in even fainter tones but he cannot ignore the call. Peter limps up the hill, leans a ladder against the cross, and gets halfway up when the centurions knock over the ladder, beats him brutally, and tosses him back down the hill.
Again he hears, "Peter. . . Peter. . ." ever fainter, and again, he cannot refuse his Lord. In pain, he slowly staggers up the hill, drags himself up the ladder, and finally gets even with Christ's face. Just as the centurions are reaching for the ladder, Jesus says, "Peter. . . Peter. . . look, I can see your house from here."
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In Sunday school, Sister Mary asked the class: "What part of the body goes to heaven first?"
In the back of the class, nasty Billy waved his hand frantically, but Sister Mary, suspecting a wrong answer, turned to another child. "Yes, Susan?"
"The heart goes to heaven first because that's where God's love lives."
"Excellent," said Sister Mary, "and you, Charlotte?"
"The soul, Sister Mary, because that's the part that lives beyond death."
"Very good, Charlotte," said the Sister, as she noticed Billy's hand still waving in desperation."
"OK, Billy, what do you think?"
"It's the feet that go first, Sister, the feet."
"That's a strange answer Billy. Why the feet?"
Billy answered, "Because I saw my mom with her feet up in the air, shouting, 'God, I'm coming, I'm coming!'"
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Wow none of those are funny!!
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kirsteen pull the stick out your ass ... ALL of them are funny. dont listnen to her sapphi shes just a blind, narrowminded (ugh i cant evn think of the right word!!)
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thats cuz ur a douche
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Actually your the one whos narrow minded now arent you!!! Your being narrow minded to my beliefs and same here i am narrow minded to the junk you put on here
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well y did u read them then?
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woah chick if its anything im not its narrowminded. i dont just slam others ppls religions idc wat ppl are!! THe only thing that pisses me off is ppl lik u who cant accept other ppl for what and who they are and believe
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:I
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@devin wats wit da face??? lol
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kirsteen makes me sick.
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me too if i could punch her i would and im a Godam hippie
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yep.
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your rite sapphi
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so you wont laugh at a joke about jesus but i bet you would laugh at a racist joke now wouldnt you?
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