The Star in the Night : A Vent thread
Thread Topic: The Star in the Night : A Vent thread
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Welcome to the Star in the Night vent thread. Here is where I'll go in depth of what goes on in my head.
This will contain serious topics, mental struggles of all sorts, and other potentially triggering things. Please be kind to yourself!
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October 28th, 2024
⚠ Toxic partner in various ways ⚠
♡ ⋆
I want to take some time and talk about a relationship I very, very recently ended, because I want others to see it and understand some warning signs of toxic behaviours. If you read through my experience and think, "Hey, my [ex/partner/friend/etc] does/did that," then I'm sorry.
My partner (19m) and I (16nb) have been having issues since the start, more on me than him. We, in fact, met due to him hacking my school google account.
Since I don't want to go in depth (I made a reddit post going more in depth but I cannot find rn 3), the main points of it were:
- Being hypocritical about things, such as addiction
- Lied about his w33d use
- Used the silent treatment as punishment several times
- Started fights
- Read private chats with friends
- Ignored/didn't talk to me for a long while
One particular case I've been thinking about often lately, is one fight. I was doing my absolute best to kick a C.AI addiction. We got into a fight about the fact and I, upset, asked it if just wasn't good enough for him. He said that it wasn't good enough. After the 2-day silent treatment, I confronted him about it and said that it hurt my feelings, to which he got angry again and went on silent treatment for an additional 3 days.
For anyone who has experienced that, even once, that is someone who is dangerous. If they will act like that when they're mad and not take accountability for saying or doing something harmful, it won't get better without therapy. If they're fine doing those things, it may even get worse.
How I handled the breakup was I literally just deactivated my account. No warning. No talk. Just, essentially ghosted him. And as much as I regret it, I'm scared of what he may have done or said if I did talk it out with him. Do not let these people trap you in place and question if you're crazy.
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If you would like more stories and advice, please feel free to lmk! <3 -
Random thing of today
So, when I'm coping with things, I tend to listen to music that relates because it helps me process and feel and learn. It also helps me feel less alone.
[poll.LaoA] -
To go with that last post:
Here is the song I've been listening to!
Listen to the song here! -
Also, I would like to say that this thread isn't about "Pity me" and "I had bad bf :("
It's about sharing experiences and learning to cope after the fact, and so I can sort of knowledge what happened as truth. And, also so others on this site or who see this can see when and if their partner(s) show these traits, and they can leave before it gets too hard to get out of it.
I just wanna help, and also acknowledge and explain my feelings a bit -
October 29th, 2024
Okay, one thing I didn't realize would happen is headaches. Oh my gosh, I have had a near constant splitting headache for 12 hours. I need to sleep for a long long while. It's not from anything else, I'm caught up on schoolwork and I don't have to work until Thursday, it's literally only from mental strain from literally ghosting a toxic person immediately after realizing he was toxic PLEASE
AHHHHH -
Me ignoring the red flags of Mr. Hacker Guy like:
I wouldn't make jokes about anyone else's experiences but I can joke about mine :3 -
October 30th, 2024
Me when I tell my closest friends about what happened to me and they actually believe me:
(I really do deeply appreciate them for it but I was not expecting to be believed or respected or even for them to consider it "enough" to be ab*se so I was very pleasantly surprised) -
LIKE LITERALLY I TOLD MY BROTHERS-FROM-OTHER-MOTHERS ABOUT IT AND THESE GUYS WERE LIKE:
One got upset on my behalf and went out to throw rocks. He sat with me for several hours and allowed me to just think
The other literally told me that it was so toxic and apologized to me and even used the A-word (ab*se)
And I was like
HUH? YALL BELIEVE ME??? -
Mr. Hacker Guy deleted his pinterest account, words can't describe how happy I am about it <3
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Or at least privated it cuz idk but it is indeed not showing up when I google it
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