Troubles.
- Locked due to inactivity on Jan 15, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Troubles.
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I'm not new. But I'm not what I would call a "seasoned veteran" of gtq either. This is a new account because I don't want anyone to worry for me and know it was me. I'm not going to interact with or make friends with anyone with this account. Or I might if it turns out my troubles aren't actually as troubling and troublesome as I thought they were.
The goal is to be able to write down everything that is troubling me into this thread, and then it will go away. And hopefully no one will remember me. Although honestly I wasn't that memorable in the first place. I never have been. Everyone seems to just build their lives to the side of me like I don't exist, and they only talk to me if they want something from me. It's my fault for giving it to them I guess, because if you feed wolves, they'll keep coming back. They'll take everything you have until you have nothing left to give and you're left broken with no one and nothing left. I always thought that was just a part of life, that everyone hates everyone, that everybody is like that, or maybe it was just that I had only ever met bad people. But no. It's not that at all. Maybe it's just me then. Everyone calls me a selfish b----, that I never give anything to help anybody, ever, but that's not true. I've given so much that I have NOTHING and they have EVERYTHING. Any time anyone asks me for something I give and I give and I give, never asking for anything in return and never accepting anything in return, or at all. Not that anything has ever given me anything. Why is life so unfair? I've asked that question of so many people, and they all give the same answer. "life's just like that sometimes." But it shouldn't be. And it wouldn't be if had a spine.
If I had ever stood up for myself. I used to, but then people said that wasn't proper. That I shouldn't ever act that way. That my behavior was unacceptable. For what? Hitting back? And why am I the one who ends up with the blame? Every time it's the same thing. But why? It's like everyone exists simply for the soul purpose of tearing me down. -
I used to think I was ugly, because everyone called me ugly. Even my parents, my siblings, the people who I thought were my friends, everyone. Until one day I started getting compliments. It must have stemmed from the crazy outburst I had in my freshman year of high school. Let me elaborate.
One day, i'm sitting in my fourth period class, German, and some rude girl who I thought at the time was beautiful, started kicking my chair and calling me an ugly whore. Keep in mind I had never even kissed anyone at that point, but for some reason everyone thought that I was sleeping with all of the guys in the school. Anyway, she eventually got mad because I was not reacting to her nonsense, and grabbed out a pair of scissors from who knows where while the teacher had gone to take a bathroom break. At the time I was really emo, but I had never and still have never worn makeup unless it was like a special once-a-year occasion, so I just parted my hair to the side and covered the side of my face that my mother told me was the ugliest, but I would usually try and cover both sides. Anyway, while the teacher was gone, the girl gets up and stands in front of my desk and slammed her fists down really loudly, and I've always been really jumpy so yeah, I jumped I guess.
Note to self:
This is taking a long time to write so the next post will be a continuation. -
I decided to look down because I was always taught that animals get angry if you look them in the eyes, so I tried not to make eye contact to avoid enraging her further, even though I had not even done anything in the first place. Then, she pulls out the pair of scissors while I wasn't paying attention, and grabs a lock of my hair. Then she got the entire class to agree with her that I need bangs so that they could all see my "ugly disgraceful witch face", and she cut my hair. The one thing that was keeping me sane. My one outlet. Whenever I was stressed, I would run my fingers through my hair and I would feel better. While it was only from the front, and it was just a section that someone would probably cut bangs from, I was absolutely enraged because I love my hair. Anyways, I jumped onto the top of the table like spider man and took the scissors from her, pinned her to the ground, and cut her ponytail off while she screamed like a banshee. Then, I started punching her in the face until the teacher came in and picked me up, but the girl kept on clawing at me with her nasty fake nails until her friends ran over and pulled her off of me. Now my German teacher, she's kind of what you would call a real life yoda or something. All knowing and all seeing. And somehow able to magically convince people of things. Its really creepy. Anyway, I told her what happened while crying and she let me off with a warning. And then she told everyone else to keep what happened a secret, with even that b---- who cut my hair deciding to keep quiet about it. At some point the girl started cursing at me and throwing insults at me. Calling me ugly and all that, and I just broke. I sort of ended up screaming in front of the entire class about how hard my entire life is. How everyone has always called me ugly, made fun of me, and beat me up without reason. Even calling me a whore even though as I said in my first post, I have never even kissed anyone. I haven't so much as touched a guy that I am physically attracted to. It's not that I don't want to, or that guys haven't asked me out or anything, I just get scared and run away. After that day people started being really nice to me. For about a week. Until everything went back to normal. But then I realized for once in my life that maybe I am pretty?
Continuation in next post. -
You handled that better then I would of a b---- got less then one time to do some s--- like that 😃😃😃😳
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After the incident where that girl cut my hair, I trimmed it up to make it not look like trash, and then cut about 2 feet of length off of my hair. So then I had waist-length hair and curtain bangs, and I even started dressing like a normal person instead of always wearing baggy clothing. I realized that I'm really pretty. Naturally. Without makeup or anything like that. I have natural freckles that everyone teased me for because they said it looked like someone pooped on my face, wide blue eyes, a barbie nose, high cheekbones, long hair, long eyelashes, and i'm apparently the perfect height (5'5), and I've been told time and time again that I have a perfect body. Everyone asks me what my secret is, my workout ruitine, what diet I follow to look like this, but there is no secret. I have really fast metabolism, which every always called me a pig for because I eat a lot, but now I realize that it's a good thing because I will always be skinny without working out or dieting. Not that I don't work out, because I do during sports seasons. I'm one of the best long-distance runners in my school, one of the best short-distance runners, such a good baseball player that they were going to let me join the boys team until my mother found out and forbade me from ever playing baseball again, and while this is unrelated, I'm a class topper without trying. Beat that Reese, you fake ass b----. And you better think twice before cutting off my hair again!
To be honest, maybe I ought to think Reese? She's the reason that my life at school got so much better. I've even made some friends this year. My sophomore year is going great, and everyone has already forgotten about the incident. Many people have even told me I should run for prom queen next year, my junior year, but I'm not sure i'm ready for that kind of spotlight yet. I even participated if a beauty pageant and won, which was really amazing and boosted my confidence a lot. The thing is, I can't talk at a normal level. Me screaming at the top of my lungs is like a normal person's yell. Me talking normally sounds like a whisper, so I have to yell to be heard.
Unfortunately, now people think i'm stuck up because I can't talk to them, so they just assume that I don't want to talk to them and spread nasty rumors about me to try and ruin my life. And then that are the stalkers. I have guys leaving cringe letters in my lockers, and then threatening ones if I don't respond (which I never do), and somehow they have found out my phone number and even my address! -
Sorry, didn't see your post @dannyLover321. 😂 I almost got expelled though, I don't think doing worse would be a very good idea😱
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No definitely not lmao im glad you didn’t get expelled
She should get expelled
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