Ah s--- here we go again
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 16, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: Ah s--- here we go again
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I've really been trying to work on being able to let things go and not letting things get to me, but it just keeps building up more and more.
I've been trying to work on my anger. I've been trying really hard. But I find myself even more angry, because the only safe way for me to express anger is to keep it all in. I've been able to decently manage myself so that I don't snap at others. At the end of the day though, when it's just me alone with my thoughts, I'm so exhausted and it makes me so mad. -
I'm so f---ing tired of always being "the talentless one", "the dumb one", the one who has to constantly prove that she's worthy because nobody thinks she's worth anything.
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Honestly, I don't understand how my life is not a comedic tragedy. It's like everything is planned in advanced. Like yesterday, my brother was talking in the group about sticking up for yourself and encouraging such things, but when I tried to stick up for myself with my parents this morning, he yelled at me to shut up.
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I'm genuinely kinda scared for me. I just feel I've been slipping away more and more from reality, especially with my identity. I used to think I knew, but now I don't. My mind switches from mindsets that are opposing, and I can't control it. I don't know why it does, and even more, I can't tell which one is me. I can't tell the difference between what I pretend to be, and who I actually am. It's like this every day, but everyone keeps telling me it's just really bad depression, which I think was true, but I've been feeling that something more is going on with me. I'm confused and I don't know what to do anymore
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