Foxhole
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 2, '21 3:54am
Thread Topic: Foxhole
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So, I feel okay, but I can't stop feeling anxious around my family, especially when we all sit at the table at dinner. Hm.
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Hey, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Just wanted to say
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I'm so tired of my family trying to control me down to what I'm allowed to like. Even just a videogame, my brothers are jerks. They bully me into using characters only they approve of. And it's not just me they do this to. They even did it to my friend that time he invited us over to his house. That was mean. And they ganged up on him when we played just because he likes Zelda characters. This is stupid. I shouldn't have to put up with this even when we're just playing a fricking game!
What the heck is wrong with them?! -
I'm scared again because my mom read something about "birthing people" vs. "pregnant mothers". She called it disgusting and started ranting about the LGBTQ community again. And then she told my little sister and started ridiculing the term.
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I really wish I could just get away from it all. I need my own place, but if I bring that up, my parents will only scoff and say "Yeah, right! That's not happening! You haven't even finished school yet and you're not going anywhere with Covid going on."
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I feel so overlooked in life. People hardly remember me, even if I remember every detail about them. I feel like a bother to exist, but I don't really have a choice, you know. And I don't utterly hate myself. It's just that I really hate my life.
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life feels like it's too much. like, what do you want from me? why do you have to be so difficult? what are you stressing me out for? what did i do to you?
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sometimes there's a lot of stuff stuck in my head and i just can't get it out well enough. it wants to come, but then it doesn't.
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i do feel very lonely. not romantically lonely, just lonely. like...
lonely...
and i know that i'll eventually have to go back to being totally alone. it just happens that way. -
You know, I'm really just here until I'm not. I feel nothingness in my head. I feel foggy.
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I do feel a little down. It's okay. It only takes a little quiet time alone for me to feel that I have nothing to really occupy myself with. Nothing useful or enjoyable.
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I feel overlooked at home, as well. Everyone's always forgetting that I'm even alive. They only remember when they want something or when they decide I'm in trouble.
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I.....
it doesn't matter.
Nothing matters. -
why?
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I want to quit. I just want to quit. I don't want to be here. I thought I was getting better, but I'm not, and how could I when I'm living in such fear at home?
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