Imagine That
Thread Topic: Imagine That
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I'm so mentally drained and I'm tired of pretending I'm not
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I have so many things I haven't done and I hardly have any energy for anything anymore
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All day today I felt like I was going to start uncontrollably sobbing and I don't cry. I just don't. I can't
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I cannot take anything else. I don't know what I will do if someone asks how I'm doing because I don't know if I want to be 'doing' anymore
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I'm just exhausted. Nothing makes me happy anymore yet if I feel unhappy I make myself stop because I feel like I'm faking it
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I feel like I'm constantly mirroring and pretending to have emotions when all I feel anymore is tired
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I haven't cried in years. I only smile when someone smiles first. I laugh only when someone else wants me to laugh with them. I'm never angry at anyone. I can't show anger because what could they have done that's worse than anything I've experienced already? I don't even talk to people unless they talk first and I just want someone to notice but I'll hate myself if they do.
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I want help but what if all I want is attention? I know I'm not but I can't help but overthink every single thought and action that I have, and wonder what motive I had behind it. Why did I laugh with that person if I have no reason to make them happy? Why do I do things at all?
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My anxiety is at an all time high but I have nothing to be scared about or overthink because my interactions with other people have no meaning and nothing I say or do will ever have any impact
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What do I even have to overthink? I'm not even a real person anymore
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I just want to rest
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I might not be able to carry your burdens for you, but I can and will carry you with my twig arms because I love you buddie, I'm always here for you
Do you want me to check up on you later and see how you're doing? 💛 -
I'm quite fine now, thanks for the concern though
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loud noises make me flinch so violently now I hate it so much I wish I could stop
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I have this stupid f---ing tic that won't go away too
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